I am tired. The never ending day is... well, never ending. I wake in the night and my first thought is, "oh hell, I hope those birds/dogs/whatever don't wake up Nick". I get up in the morning and the first action is to get Nick showered, dressed and ready for the day ahead.
I drop him at school. Phew, reprieve for a few hours. Believe me, those hours go past in the blink of an eye. Then I am back at school to collect him. Back onto that treadmill of getting him lunch, taking him out, spending time with him, sorting out his supper, giving him a bath..... and blah, blah, blah.
The reality of caring for a special needs child is not bandied about much, except with a few select friends who also have similar issues. We parents like to put on that positive spin and gloss over the nitty gritty stuff. Not that there is anything wrong with that, we do what it takes to get through the day. Anyway, who wants to hear the boring stuff again and again?
It is so incredibly easy to be all consumed with your child in the early years, however, it is a different issue once you start hitting those teen years and you are still stuck on that never ending day. The limitless patience required. The reminders to keep moving forward. The need to brush over the sadness that the said child is not a regular kid who will lead a regular life. Teenagers should be working their way to leaving the nest, not still relying on their Mum to help with ablutions. Parents of teenagers should be worrying about regular teen stuff.... not, "oh crap, who is going to look after my child when I die". The stress of it all is immense.
Oh for sure, there is no doubt that my kid is adored and loved beyond measure. So is my other child. I have no favourites in my house, although Nick's big brother is way easier and doesn't cause much stress! Am I making a mistake sharing the reality of raising a special needs
I am tired. I need a cappuccino. I need some grown up time. I need to acknowledge to the people around me that raising Nick is exhausting at times. Don't worry, it is actually a two way street ~ Nick also gets tired of having me around! :)
For those of you who are totally focused on your child to the exclusion of everything else ~ get a hobby, it is so important to have something for YOU.