In order for me to maintain a balance in my life, I need to have some time out! Not just for me but also for my husband and teenager. We miss out on a lot due to our situation. Our life revolves around our boy with special needs and we are limited in what we can do with him. Although my typically developing teenager is pretty well adjusted, he also misses out on having a regular family life! It is extremely important to me to be able to spend some time with my teenager. We really need to have time to be a regular family doing regular things!! By regular I mean....... having the freedom to do as we please, go where we want and be as we wish!
This past weekend has been spent away from my boy. It has been about *time out*. We have spent time doing all the things that are not generally possible and it has been wonderful. Last night we went *out*..... eight adults and seven kids! The restaurant was crowded, noisy and a sensory overload. We ate, drank, sang loudly and had a bit of a dance! OK, I had a bit of a dance and the teenagers raised their eyebrows and sniggered behind their cell phones! We left just before midnight amidst lots of laughter and plans for the next day.
I thought of my boy during the evening. I observed everyone around me, the chatting, laughing and the general too and fro of people having a great time. I thought of my boy and I found myself feeling incredibly sad that he wasn't there; and that he will never be able to cope in such a situation. Because of his disability, my son will never get to experience the magic of life. He won't get to talk and laugh and flirt with girls. He won't feel the sudden spontaneous urge to stand up to sing and dance to the music. He won't get to look to the person next to him, behind him, in front of him. He won't catch the eye of his brother across the table and shake his head at his silly mother.... that happy go lucky mother singing loudly and dancing in her old fashioned way!
Oh the joy of being able to be a regular family BUT oh the sadness that a member of our family was missing.....