Saturday, May 31, 2014

Taking it slow!


I don't know about you, but I tend to do too much for Nick. It is far easier for me whip up his fruit and veg juice, butter his toast and choose what fruit to give him for lunch, then spend the time guiding him through the process. To be fair on myself, I only rush through the process when we are on a time limit and have to be out the door quickly. 

Such is life!

We had a slow afternoon today and what a difference it made to both me and Nick. Having the time to just hang out offered up so many opportunities to engage with Nick. Before you think I am Supermum, we also had a bit of downtime in which to do our own thing. (Nick had a blast, chilling on the swing with iPad in hand!). It is all about balance, right? :)

I decided to take advantage of our extra time by using lunch as a starting point. 

The following two videos show how I slowed right down and gave Nick plenty of time to think for himself and decide what *he* wanted to do/get/choose. You will notice that I don't tell him what to do, although on occasion I do make declarative comments for him to respond to if he wishes. For example; I made a comment about putting the apples back into the fridge. He immediately said no and made the sign for "finished". Nick's decision didn't bother me, however, I decided to wait a little bit and see what happened. I didn't place any demands on him, it was entirely his choice what to do next.


I also ensured that he had a role to play, whether it be collecting the fruit, trying to cut the banana or help me peel the naartjie. There are moments that Nick gets distracted, however, I pause what I am doing and just wait for him to reconnect. I love the connection we share over the banana (from time code 1:25). This is where the cutting of the fruit becomes more about the *experience* than the task.



Note to self:

Define roles
Cut back on the chat
Use declarative language to invite a response and also spotlight the experience/success
Pause the action
Give lots of processing time

Ask myself: Is Nick using his frontal cortex or am I doing his thinking for him?




10 comments:

  1. I love the peace of your videos. Nick reminds me a lot of Sophie, I also notice she does better with slow and easy and lots of processing time. Awesome stuff!

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    1. Thank you, Sophie's Trains. Sophie is too adorable and it is great to hear that she also does well with slow and easy. No rush around here! :)

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  2. I can actually "feel" your calm watching the videos Di! It feels so comforting.

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    1. Hi zisforzen, thanks for spotlighting my calmness, long may it last!!

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  3. It's so easy for us mums to fall into the trap of doing too much for our children. especially the boys! Great work....well done. I love to read and see your Nick progress :-) xx

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    1. So so easy, Jazzy. I often have to *stop* and remind myself not to jump in there and do it myself. So lovely that you continue to follow (and watch) my blog. Thanks so much. xx

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  4. I definitely do too much for Smiley: I find it really hard to slow down. Feel inspired to try after watching you and Nick xx

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    1. Aah, but I bet it is hard to resist Smiley and I would also do way too much for her. It takes a long time to learn to slow down especially if you don't have a lot of spare time. xx

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