My resilient teen!

"Mindset drives actions, actions dictate results"

Elisa ~ Think Autism

For the last few weeks I have been mulling over the idea of going away for the weekend. In the back of my mind I had already decided that the trip would involve a plane and we would only be away for the Friday and Saturday night. I visualized sitting in a favorite cafe, sipping on the most delicious cappuccino and watching the world go by....... I then saw myself pick up the closest implement, be it a spoon or even a fork; and use it to gently stir the thick and creamy vanilla milkshake that was sitting on the table..... in front of Nick.

Crazy idea?

Or not?

My idea has come to fruition and we are taking that trip next weekend. This family of four are going to be taking our first flight together. We will be staying in unfamiliar accommodation. Nick will have to share a bedroom with his brother; and horror of all horrors, also sleep in a single bed. His meal time routines are going to be all over the place, and as for the food that he gets to eat? Well, we will make a plan!

In short, Nick's lovely comfortable daily life is going to be thrown upside down. He is going to face challenges which may go beyond his *edge plus one*. Mind you, we do have some memories to fall back on, a little bit of familiarity to encourage our feelings of competence. We did the same plane trip last year, and while it was a nerve racking experience (for me, not him!), it was also a wonderful success.

I believe that we can do the same again. Although our experience will be different from the previous adventure (same but different!), I feel confident that Nick will be fine. We will be there to support and guide him. We are capable of gauging Nick's anxiety level and will accommodate for his needs. Psssst, the iPad is a great tool for some escapism!

Thanks to RDI, our boy no longer has problems with any type of transition. He is comfortable going to new places and he knows that he can look to us for guidance. The hustle and bustle of people don't bother him and he can cope with a lot of noise. RDI has been empowering for us as a family and Nick's disability is becoming less of an issue.

~*~

I wasn't going to tell Nick about our impending trip until Monday; however, he must have overheard a conversation and has been making the gesture for "plane" since last Thursday! His concept of time is not the best so I have made a very basic schedule to put on the fridge.

In all honesty.......

I have been a bit slack of late...... and the teen has had way too much iPad time.

It is hard raising a kid who doesn't have any interest in anything other than screen time. I mean..... what do you do when you have a child who doesn't play or socialise? For goodness sake, he doesn't even like trains, not even Thomas the Tank Engine! Thankfully he loves books, especially Dr Seuss books. Trouble is, I have read each book so many times that I can recite them word for word. I have 'The Cat in the Hat Comes back' dreams, or should that be nightmares?

Another reason for my slackness is that I have been trying to readjust the balance. If you think about it, being a teenager means finding your own feet, distancing yourself from your parents, keeping secrets!!!!! My teen is still tied to my apron strings and will be for many years to come. Sigh.

So, in order to maintain some sanity, I need to become my own person again. I need to find some extra time during the week to focus on what I want to do. Whether it be concentrating on a hobby or spending time with friends, or both! The husband features in there somewhere. Oh, and the other teen who is definitely leaving home in February 2015! :)

I have to start thinking about finding some help. A person who is willing to take the time to connect with my teen and keep him actively engaged. Someone who can provide me with a few extra hours.

You see, I don't want to be just a *Mum* 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year.... and so on. If my teen was following a natural developmental pathway, he could be leaving home in three years time. He is severely autistic, so leaving home anytime soon isn't an option. Don't get me wrong, I adore my boy and would climb mountains for him. However, in order to have the energy to be a great mum to him, I also need to have some breathing space. It's healthy.

Therefore, I need to find the right balance that suits us all.

And I am starting right now.