I have been a bit slack of late...... and the teen has had way too much iPad time.
It is hard raising a kid who doesn't have any interest in anything other than screen time. I mean..... what do you do when you have a child who doesn't play or socialise? For goodness sake, he doesn't even like trains, not even Thomas the Tank Engine! Thankfully he loves books, especially Dr Seuss books. Trouble is, I have read each book so many times that I can recite them word for word. I have 'The Cat in the Hat Comes back' dreams, or should that be nightmares?
Another reason for my slackness is that I have been trying to readjust the balance. If you think about it, being a teenager means finding your own feet, distancing yourself from your parents, keeping secrets!!!!! My teen is still tied to my apron strings and will be for many years to come. Sigh.
So, in order to maintain some sanity, I need to become my own person again. I need to find some extra time during the week to focus on what I want to do. Whether it be concentrating on a hobby or spending time with friends, or both! The husband features in there somewhere. Oh, and the other teen who is definitely leaving home in February 2015! :)
I have to start thinking about finding some help. A person who is willing to take the time to connect with my teen and keep him actively engaged. Someone who can provide me with a few extra hours.
You see, I don't want to be just a *Mum* 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year.... and so on. If my teen was following a natural developmental pathway, he could be leaving home in three years time. He is severely autistic, so leaving home anytime soon isn't an option. Don't get me wrong, I adore my boy and would climb mountains for him. However, in order to have the energy to be a great mum to him, I also need to have some breathing space. It's healthy.
Therefore, I need to find the right balance that suits us all.
And I am starting right now.
You're absolutely right, and as you say, it isn't normal for a teenage boy to spend all his time with his Mum, so it's entirely appropriate that you should look for other company for him.
ReplyDeleteAnd on the question of screens, I have similar problems here with both of my younger children, at least when we're in the house. But then I think about how difficult life might be 50 years ago when there were no screens...
Best of luck with finding your balance and getting some breathing space xx
@Looking for Blue Sky ~ It is just not possible to give 100% and if using a screen helps, then so be it! Now to find the right person for my teen! I hope that you also have some breathing space now that school has gone back. xx
DeleteI'm in the same dilemma. The ipad is an extension of Cameron but without it he literally sits and stares into nothingness. He's been attached to me for almost 19 years and I've finally realized I can't do it 24/7 forever. It's a horrible realization and I have to admit I am very thankful for our ipad but feel guilty at the same time.
ReplyDeleteAh, Jane, we are in the same boat although you are a few years ahead of me! I also feel the guilt, however, we really need to get over it..... we are in this forever! xx
DeleteOf all the very difficult thing you have to face this must be right up there. The seed of the thought of the rest of his life (with you in a lessor role). Good luck
ReplyDeleteHi Cat, thanks for your comment. xx
DeleteIt's so damn hard trying to remember who you are when you have a special needs child. Some days I can't even decide what I like or don't like anymore. Taking a little bit of "me time" sounds like a very healthy starting point XXX
ReplyDeleteHi Jean, I know exactly what you mean! Great to see you online again. xxx
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