Saturday, August 9, 2014

Bucket Talk!


(Taken by Nick)

I think it is fair to say that the role of caring for an autistic teen is quite demanding! :)

Through no fault of his own, my son requires 24 hour care. At times this responsibility can feel overwhelming. Yes, on occasion I do have a mini pity party!

I have gone through the age old process of coming to terms with the fact that my life hasn't gone according to plan. I know and accept that my long term role is going to be that of a carer.

However, what I have learned over time is that I need to stop and think about myself. I have been so busy filling my son's bucket - Rummage around in there and you will find lots of wonderful goodies to ooh and aah over. Frankly, my boy is a happy teen and very much loved. If I was to visualize his bucket, it would be a bright red receptacle, featuring a large orange sun and bright yellow happy faces. Beautiful blues and greens would be bubbling over the top and gently running down the sides. I would say that his bucket is looking very healthy!!


My bucket is more on the grey side, a bit drab and dreary! Peer over the top and you will find a few things bobbing around in there. Proud mum moments. An airplane or two. Numerous cappuccinos. Joyful memories with family and friends. Regardless of the pretty colours that come to the surface, you will notice the bucket is only half full.

The last 15 years have revolved around autism and it's time to take stock. I need to reassess and make plans to focus on my own bucket. It goes without saying that I will always endeavor to keep the contents of Nick's bucket gently bubbling at the top. I just need to tip the balance towards me and work towards making mine as beautiful as his.



~*~


12 comments:

  1. Love this post, it's so true, but so hard to do as well. Many people seem to expect carers to care to the exclusion of all else, and we may be criticised if we dare to look to have dreams and expectations for our own lives. Best of luck with your bucket, hope it is full of shiny happy things really soon xxxx

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    1. Thank you, Blue Sky. I know exactly what you mean. As for the shiny happy things..... I have a photography course tomorrow and am so excited about doing something that is just for me. xx

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  2. What a beautiful post. So wonderfully put and so very true.
    I want you fill that bucket and then i want you tell us all about it.

    Oh, and even though your bucket may be grey yoor toes are fabulously and gloriously pink....and that's a great start ;-) xx

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    1. Thanks, Jazzy. Well done for noticing the toes ~ they are the reason I added the photo! :-) Thanks for your lovely comment and I will be sure to keep you updated. Hope you are feeling better. xx

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  3. A great post, one that I can really relate to at the moment. I feel like everything in my life has autism in it, even random films that we decide to watch! After having the new baby I really feel I need some me time and look after myself a bit. Even if it's just buying some nice clothes. It's something I'm going to work on ;0)

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    1. Thank you, Jane. Phew, you must be incredibly busy. Totally understandable that you need some me time, although not sure where you are going to fit it in at the moment!! Good luck. :)

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  4. Such beautiful thoughts. I get that you need to fill your own bucket, and it would be something totally necessary to do because if yours is empty then how can you have the energy to keep on filling your son's? It must be incredibly hard to do what you are doing 24 hours a day, and I really applaud you. (Thank you by the way for kindly commenting on my blog at Lifestyle Fifty today)

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  5. Hi Jo, thank you for stopping by and for your thoughtful comment. xx

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  6. I love it! I am definitely a grey drab bucket mother myself...I am working or at least like you becoming aware that needs to change a bit.

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    1. Hi Beth, thanks for stopping by. I am glad I have company.... although, as you know, we need to change where we are at! :-)

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