April ~ Day Twenty Seven

Have you ever gone non-verbal? To clarify, I am talking about communication without speech/the spoken word. Being non-verbal means relying on other avenues of communication.... facial expressions, eye gaze, body language, position of body, shrugs, noises, gestures.

With this in mind I wrote up a new framework for an activity we did the other day. My goal for this activity was to focus on non-verbal communication, joint attention and co-regulatory patterns.


Activity:

Unstacking the dishwasher (again!)


Roles:

I pass a plate to Nick.
Nick puts it on the counter
x3

We swap roles
Nick passes me an item
I put it on the counter
x3

We swap roles
I pass Nick a cup
He puts it in the cupboard
x3

We carry on in this manner until the dishwasher has been emptied.

Note:  Nick's edge+1 will be the continuous changing of roles.


Limits:

No distractions... doors closed to keep out the dogs! Aim to have an empty dishwasher. Do not use speech.


Communication:

No speech. Use facial expressions, noises, body language, gestures. When changing roles, move my body to a new place to communicate the new role. Slow down and wait for Nick to pick up on my non-verbal cues. Relax and go with the flow.


What happened:

If only I had filmed this! We coordinated our movements beautifully. After handing Nick the three items, I stopped in my tracks and then deliberately moved my body so that I was standing away from the dishwasher and closer to the bench. He immediately picked up on this cue and took on his new role. We continually referenced each other for information and adjusted what we were doing as we went along. Our engagement was a wonderful example of what can be achieved without speech. The joint attention was WOW and I am so thrilled that our simple activity turned into a successful little dance between the two of us.

Flowers are more interesting than pots and pans!

April ~ Day Twenty Three

It's been a while since we have played any type of board game, so I pulled out the old Junior Scrabble.

My goal for this engagement was to connect with Nick and share the enjoyment and experience of playing a game together.


Our game of choice:

Junior Scrabble


Roles:

I take a turn / Nick takes a turn


Activity limits..... and rough plan:

Only work with two boards, each containing four words.

The words are quite easy, therefore I will choose a letter and place it in an unexpected place. For example, in the middle or end of a word. Nick to make his own plan about what letter he chooses.


Communication:

Lots of experience sharing declarative comments. Pause and wait. Self-talk so that Nick hears my thoughts.


What happened:

Hmmmmm........

Nick joined me in the game and he immediately understood his role. Was he wildly ecstatic to be there? No. Although we were connected and had a nice co-regularly pattern thing going on, Nick was in task mode. The game wasn't fun and he was going through the motions. To be honest, I thought it was too easy for him. I ended the activity earlier than planned.


Next time:

Try out some other board games.... some with a bit more oomph / fun.

April ~ Day Twenty Two

Nick makes me laugh. I casually mentioned that the dishwasher needed to be unloaded. He looks at me, makes the sign for 'finished' and plonks himself down on the sofa. I'm like 'whatever' and I carry on drinking my morning tea, while pondering over a Sudoku puzzle.

No more than five minutes later, he gets off the couch and heads to the dishwasher!

Now this is where it comes in handy being a veteran RDI mom. Before joining him at the dishwasher, I had already figured out my plan.

My goal:

Working together and adding in a little challenge. Edge+1.


The Activity:    

Unstacking the dishwasher.


Roles:                

I pass items to Nick.
Nick places the items on the counter.

I change the pattern

I put the utensil basket on the counter.
We remove items at the same time and put them in the utensil drawer.

I change the pattern

We go back to the dishwasher and proceed to unload the top shelf.



Limits:                

I check that there are no distractions. I suggest that we turn off the CD.
I remind myself to go with the flow.


Communication:

Lots of declarative comments.
Pause the action and giveNick time to respond.
Non verbal facial expressions and body language. Eye gaze.


What happened:  

Our activity went smoothly. Nick was really mindful about placing the items (he used to bang them down). I liked that I often paused the action and waited to see what Nick would do.... thus giving him opportunities to make his own decisions. To be honest, Nick managed really well with the little challenges I threw his way. It's great that the experience was stress free and that Nick felt competent in his role, no matter the role he was playing.


Next time:

I need to put some thought into further engagements. It's fabulous that this familiar activity is now easy for him, however, what is my next step/challenge in order for Nick to make further progress.                  

April ~ Day Twenty

Hey hey hey, it's a cooking day. I have exposed Nick to many activities that involve cooking. From buying ingredients at the grocery store to dabbing icing onto cookies. He feels comfortable when I invite him to join me. With that in mind, I decided it was time to throw him a curve ball, a little variation.


My goal for this activity was to introduce Nick to a new pattern and see how far we could go with it. #edge+1.


Activity:

Collecting the ingredients needed for savoury mince.

Note: For this activity, I chose to use photographs of the ingredients.


Roles:

I hold my cell phone, choose a photograph and then show it to Nick. For example; an onion.
Nick looks at the photograph and collects the item from the cupboard/drawer ..... and then gives it to me.


Limits (thinking ahead):

Be prepared.... Take a photo of each item before the activity. Or, Google a picture of each ingredient and take a screen shot (to show variation of product... same but different). Have only one photograph for each item needed. Only select nine items. No distractions... no dogs, no music, no iPad, no monkeys, no TV.


Communication:

Lots of non verbal expressions and eye gaze. Declarative comments to help scaffold when Nick can't find an item. Lots of pausing to slow down the activity.


What happened:

Nick has a general idea of where everything is. For example, the onions live in a special drawer with the garlic. The tins of tomatoes live in the cupboard along with the condiments and other cooking paraphernalia.

He quickly cottoned onto his role of looking at the photo on my phone and then moving off to go and find the item. At times, he didn't stop to put any thought into what he was actually looking for, therefore I had to pause his action and show him the photo again. He needed further assistance when he couldn't find the carrots in their usual spot. For this, I made a few little noises to get his attention and then used eye gaze to point out the general direction of the carrots. He began to get a little irritated after seven items, so I made sure to tell him that there were two left to collect and then we were done. Spotlighting that end goal helped him tremendously and meant that I could push him just a tiny bit further.


What next:

I will definitely be revisiting this activity. I really liked having the photographs as a guide and it was great to see Nick using them so effectively. I am thinking.... pictures / pictures and written words / written words. The possibilities are endless.

April ~ Day Nineteen

Sometimes I feel as if I am the only person in the world who still has to help their teenager bath/shower. Am I? Is there anyone else out there?

For more years than I care to count, I have been trying to teach Nick to wash himself. Dyspraxia and low muscle tone means that this is a difficult task for him. But.... we continue to persevere.

Yep, you guessed it. Today's RDI engagement is all about bathing! The best way for me to approach this is to bring in a familiar pattern and then add little variations. #edge+1

Using a facecloth and soap, I will take a turn to wash a body part (that sounds like something out of a horror movie!) and then Nick will take the same turn. We will carry on in this manner until I feel that Nick is ready to swap roles.

Obviously, I am not going to share any photos of bath time, therefore here are some pretty flowers for you.

April ~ Day Eighteen

We have this super cool machine called Oscar. We feed him chopped up fruit and vegetables and he produces a lovely glass of healthy juice (minus the pulp). He has already made an appearance or two on this blog and because of his popularity I thought I would give him another shout out!

Nick often helps me make the juice. He has some experience with the preparation of the fruit and vegetables (needs further work) and is very competent at putting everything into Oscar. He has not yet figured out how to take Oscar apart. Time for an RDI framework, methinks!


My objective for this RDI activity is edge+1. I will start our activity using a familiar pattern and then introduce a new challenge.


Activity:

Make fruit and vegetable juice and then take the juice machine apart (for cleaning purposes)


Roles:

Note:  Prepare the ingredients before inviting Nick to join me.

Nick:  Nick to place the ingredients into Oscar.

Me:     I will use Oscar's plunger to push down the fruit and veg.

The Challenge

Me:    I will model how to remove a part and then step back.

Nick:  Nick will remove the part


Limits:


Turn off CD player. There are only five parts of Oscar that need to be removed from the motor, therefore the removal of the five parts will be our goal to reach.


Communication:

Help guide Nick with fruit and vegetable choices that need to be feed into Oscar. For example; chanting 'spinach, spinach, spinach'. Also use chanting when removing each part. For example: 'pull, pull, pull'.

Use declarative language and self talk when modeling how to remove each part.

Give Nick plenty of time to think for himself and plan what to do.


What happened:

Nick was happy to come and help feed the ingredients into Oscar. It was easy for him and I could see that he felt confident with his role. The introduction of the challenge caused him to show a tiny bit of stress (definitely his edge+1). I took my time and Nick watched me as I modeled what to do. My chanting really helped him focus and he took on board what I said.... for example, 'turning, turning'. He showed lovely resilience and it was wonderful to see him take up the challenge of trying something new. This is how we continue to move forward..... set up a familiar pattern so that Nick feels competent and then add in a tiny challenge.


What next:

I will continue to practice this activity with Nick and introduce further little challenges when I think the time is right.

April ~ Day Fourteen

Once an RDI parent, always an RDI parent!

The one big pain of going away for a few days is the unpacking that is involved upon arrival at our accommodation. Maybe it is just me!

Of course, I planned an RDI engagement around putting all the foodstuffs away.

We had two large boxes to unpack. First up, I set up a pattern where Nick passed me an item and I placed it into the fridge. When he was comfortable with that, I changed our roles. I passed Nick an item and he placed it into the fridge. From there, we took on the roles of doing the same thing at the same time. We both took items out of the box and placed them into the cupboard. The box was full of goodies and Nick started getting a little anxious, therefore I changed our roles again… Nick passed me the items and I placed them in the cupboard.

What I am trying to spotlight here is the importance of setting up a pattern and then adding variation. I am introducing Nick to different roles and encouraging flexibility with change. I am also being very mindful about his edge+1. If I feel that he is becoming anxious, I will go back to a pattern where I know he feels competent. I then end the engagement on that positive note.

Have a fabulous weekend. I am not sure how ours is going to pan out, as it’s a wee bit wet!

April ~ Day Thirteen

We are going away for the weekend, so I thought it would be a fab idea to invite Nick to help pack his own case. I wrote up a framework plan for our engagement. Taking the time to think about the activity and writing down all the information helps keep me focused on the engagement.


Objective:

My main purpose for this activity was to ensure that I addressed Nick's edge+1. Adding an extra little challenge and being mindful not to push him too far.


Activity:

Packing a weekend case.


Roles:

#1   I pass Nick one item and he places it into the case.  We do this for roughly 6 items.

#2   We swap roles. Nick chooses an item and passes it to me. I place it in the case. Etc.


Limits:

No distractions...... shut the bedroom door to keep the dogs out! 3 pairs shorts, 3 t-shirts, 3 underwear, 3 sets of sleepwear.
Small carryon case with zip.


Communication:

Lots of declarative comments. Thinking aloud. Deliberate body language.


What happened:

I mentioned to Nick that we were going away and that I would love some help packing his bag. He happily came with me to his bedroom. I set up the first pattern of passing him one item at a time. Without any guidance, he placed the items into his case. The clothes were packed rather haphazardly, however, this didn't concern me and I just ignored the mess! When I felt he was feeling confident with his role, I paused the action... and then very deliberately moved to where he was standing. I waited for literally a second before he realised that our roles were changing... and he went to the cupboard.

I made declarative comments about what we had packed and what we still needed to pack. Nick was listening and responded accordingly. We finished the packing with ease. I had thought that the change of role and then choosing his own clothes would be his Edge+1. However, Nick was relaxed and showed no inclination to leave.

I needed to put some thought into my next step, and also let Nick know that we were going to attempt something else. I then starting speaking my thoughts aloud so that Nick could listen to my processing. As I gazed around the room, my eye caught the case and the fact that it was still unzipped. Aha, that could be Nick's challenge.... doing up the zip on the case. Nick immediately went to the case to close it. Woohoo for self talk!

Manipulating the zip was a challenge for him, he pulled and pushed and turned the case around. I helped scaffold a couple of times, which prevented him from becoming overwhelmed with the challenge. I was very impressed with his resilience and the fact that he continued to persevere with the tricky zip. Way to go, Nick.

April ~ Day Twelve

Nick doesn't get enough exercise, so whenever possible I take him down to the beachfront, where we can stroll along the promenade and then go for a milkshake/cappuccino.

Of late, when out walking, Nick tends to wander off from me and at times he does go too far. Mind you, he always looks back to check out where I am and he will stop and wait for me if asked (I make the sign for 'stop').

Today I decided to work on co-regulation and I wrote up a RDI framework for walking together.


Objective:

My wish is for Nick to adjust his walking pace to mine, referencing my body language and facial expressions for change of pace. He is always quick to rush, therefore I want him to 'feel' the changes in speed and observe how we are walking together. I also want to add in some variety to our walking pattern for the purpose of Edge+1.


Activity:

Walking at the beachfront.


Roles:

I walk slowly
Nick walks alongside me

I pick up the pace
Nick picks up my pace

I stop
Nick stops


Limits:

We walk from the car to the nearest pier and then back again.


Communication:

Give a brief explanation of our activity. Chanting. Pause the action. Use non-verbal language.


What happened:

As soon as we left the car, Nick started walking alongside me. Our footsteps were not in sync, although we were certainly walking at the same pace. I stopped walking. Nick stopped walking. I started walking, Nick started walking. This carried on until we reached the end of the pier. I tried to introduce a faster pace, however, Nick was quite adamant that he wasn't going to speed up. I sensed that it could be more than his Edge+1 so I respected his decision. His mood changed for the better as we left the pier, so again I attempted to quicken my pace. He adjusted his speed to match mine, although only for a short spurt. I really didn't want to push it, therefore only did two more attempts. The fabulous thing about our engagement is that he was very aware of matching his actions to mine.


What next:

Keep practicing... at home, at the shopping mall, the beachfront.... wherever we are! Continue to throw in little variations to the pattern.

April ~ Day Ten

Nick likes to get up early. As in really early! He bounds down the passage anytime from 4am. He also likes to wake the whole house by slamming the bedroom door. It's not nice.

Today's RDI planned engagement is all about closing the door QUIETLY!


Objective:

Guide Nick on how to close a door slowly, placing particular emphasis on the use of the door handle.


Activity:

Door closing.


Our roles:

I close the door. Pause. Then open the door.
Nick closes the door. I open the door.


Limits:

Use the bedroom door (the one that he slams). No distractions like TV, music or dogs.


Communication:

Use lots of facial expressions. Make the sound "shhhh" when closing the door (a little scaffold for Nick to remind him to be quiet). Use body language to adjust our positions in relation to the door.


What happened:

I invited Nick to join me upstairs and he came willingly. I explained what we were going to do. I then modelled how to close the door quietly, using "shhhh" as guidance. Nick did so well with his turn and he was mindful of how he closed the door. I took my turn and then opened the door. I stepped back to give Nick some space. He knew what his role was and attempted to close the door quietly. By the time we got to our third attempt, Nick decided that he didn't want to be there. I knew that he had reached his edge +1, therefore decided to tell him that there was one more turn and then we were finished.  I had hoped that we would be able to spend a bit more time on this activity and also extend it to closing other doors. However, I know my boy and don't want to push him too far. I would much rather we had short engagements and that he enjoyed sharing the experience with me.


Next time:

I am going to blitz this activity. Wherever we are, if there is a door around, I am going to be guiding Nick on how to close it quietly. I will be very mindful of his edge +1 and really encourage experience sharing.

I don't have any pictures of a door handle!

April ~ Day Nine

Nick has grown out of a lot of his clothes and his cupboards need a good clean out. I thought it a good opportunity to involve Nick in the process of sifting through his clothes. Mind you, typical teen that he is, clothing doesn't mean a lot to him!


I wrote up the following framework for us.


Objectives:

My main aim is to get a lovely co-regulatory pattern going and then swap roles, applying the edge+1 concept to encourage further learning and progress. To be honest, I am more interested in the interaction between us than the chore of cleaning cupboards.


Activity:

Remove the clothing from Nick's cupboard and sort into two piles. One pile for 'keep' and the other pile for 'give away'.


Roles:

I take out an item of clothing, designate the pile it should go on and then give it to Nick.
Nick places the item onto the correct pile.

We swap roles

Nick passes me an item of clothing
I take the item from him and decide which pile to place it on.


Limits:

Use two signs..... 'keep' and 'give away'. One sign to be placed on an ottoman and the other on the floor. Choose one shelf of Nick's cupboard to work with. The first shelf has a minimal amount of clothing (use for our first engagement). The second is jammed packed full of winter items (use this for our second engagement).


Communication:

Give a brief explanation of our roles. Use body language and facial expressions to convey information. Use the words 'keep' and 'give away' to help scaffold the placing of each item.


What happened:

Our first attempt didn't go well. Nick was in chore mode and didn't want to be there. I could have written off the activity, however, I felt that he needed further encouragement and that sometimes limits should be set. To be frank with you, I told Nick to pull himself together and stop whining! To his credit, he listened and began participating. I decided to do most of the work and keep the activity short. I kept my mood light and calm and even managed to get a small smile out of my child. Oh, by the way, he swapped roles quickly and without any stress.

Half an hour later.....

Our second attempt was way different. I casually mentioned to Nick that we were going to do some more sorting in five minutes. Anyhow, I wandered off to check out something and when I came back to find Nick, he had disappeared. I looked all over the house and eventually found him in his bedroom waiting for me! :)  How's that for a change around?

We worked on his second shelf that contained his winter clothes. I passed him an item and called out where it should go. He placed it correctly. I could feel that his mood had changed and that he was happy to be with me. I started throwing the items at him, one at a time. He caught onto this very quickly and his face just glowed with pleasure. I encouraged him to swap roles by moving to where he was standing and he immediately realised what his new role was. To great amusement, he also threw the items to me. He threw them one at a time, waiting for me to place the item on a pile before throwing another one.

Our activity went so well that I decided to add in another little challenge. Using the clothes from the 'keep' pile, I tossed them (one at a time) to Nick. He then threw them onto the correct shelf in the cupboard. We had a good laugh and Nick was really happy being involved. He watched me for my reactions and was very aware if I changed my direction of throw or went slow or fast. This engagement was all about the interaction between us and the clothing was just the prop.  As for the mess in the cupboard.... I will have to make another plan!

April ~ Day Eight

Here's the plan for today's RDI engagement.


My objective for this activity is to work on edge+1 and encourage experience sharing.


Activity:

We are going to be picking up cotton buds with a pair of tweezers. Kind of a crazy activity, I hear you say! Big smile. To be frank, Nick's fine motor function is not the best, therefore, the use of tweezers is going to be so interesting.


Our roles:

*  I take a turn picking up a cotton bud and place it into a container.
    Nick takes the same turn.

We will do this for a few cotton buds. If I feel that it is going well, I will add a variation and little challenge. Edge +1

*  My role will be to hold the cotton bud
    Nick's role will be to collect it from me using the tweezers


Communication:

I plan to make lots of declarative comments. I will pause the action and wait for Nick's response.


What happened:

First up, Nick was very unimpressed and definitely in *chore mode*. I persevered and Nick picked up his role with ease. He has the strangest way of holding the tweezers, which meant it was difficult for him to grasp the cotton bud. I had to show him a few times how to hold the tweezers correctly. I was able to add a variation to our pattern and thus give Nick an extra challenge. As for the experience sharing..... Nick's body language certainly threw out a few negative vibes on what he thought of the activity. Oh well, win some and lose some!


What next:

I would like to carry on with the tweezer practice, so will put some thought into some more interesting activities.

April ~ Day Six

Nick has trouble with wrist rotation, therefore it's difficult for him to manipulate cutlery. Preparing food is a good time to practice using various kitchen implements/cutlery.


My objective:

I really want to work on pacing and observe Nick to see if he can regulate his movements with mine.


Activity:    

Cutting a banana.


Our roles:

For this activity, I decided that we would use one banana (cut in half) and two knives. We would work together and cut our own section of the banana simultaneously.


Limits:

Half a banana each. No music. No dogs in the kitchen.


Communication:

Explain the activity and define our roles.
Use chanting to scaffold the cutting. "Cut, cut, cut, cut".
Stop the action and pause. This gives Nick time to regroup and think for himself.
Make little noises if needed. Nick is aware that a small noise means something, therefore checks out me and my body language for further information.


What happened:

As expected, Nick battled to hold the knife correctly and needed assistance with the correct grip. He quickly picked up on our simultaneous pattern, although raced ahead at times. In order to slow him down, I deliberately paused and waited for him to get back in sync with me. He was very aware of coordinating his movements with mine and tried hard to concentrate on the pacing of the activity. The power of the pause is amazing. Try it!


What next:

Use another banana and bring in an apple. I want Nick to *feel* the difference between cutting a soft fruit and a hard fruit.

April ~ Day Four

It's not hard to think of possible activities to do with Nick. This morning I needed to pop into school (we are on holiday at the moment) and drop off two large boxes and a rug. I thought it a grand idea to invite Nick to assist me. He also loves to go out in the car so it was a win win situation.

My goal for this RDI activity was to practice working together as partners. My plan was for us to remove an item from the car and help each other carry it across the garden, up some small stairs, through two doorways and place in one of the school rooms.


Activity:

Carrying large (lightweight) boxes and a mat


Roles:

For this activity, we each had the same role.


Limits:

Three items. Clear distinction of area to cover (walk) while carrying the item.


Communication:

Brief explanation of what we need to do. Lots of pausing to give Nick the opportunity to think for himself. A little bit of chanting if needed. Declarative comments to give Nick feedback on our progress.


What happened:

Nick was comfortable with our simultaneous pattern, and with relative ease we coordinated our actions beautifully. I stopped every now and then to see if he could regulate his actions with mine. I also gave him the opportunity to take the lead role. Although we were carrying each item together, we were able to adjust to each other's movements and the direction that we needed to go. I was SO impressed with Nick's motor planning when we got to the first doorway. I purposely stopped at the door and made a comment about how big the box was and how on earth could we get it through the doorway. I then waited for Nick's response. Well, he tried a couple of ways of manoeuvring the box (I held onto my side of the box but didn't give any indication of what to do). He very quickly realised how to hold the box and to walk in backwards. Wow, so awesome to see.  I am also really pleased that I made sure to wait for him to assess the situation and make a plan. Go me!  It just goes to show the importance of NOT stepping in quickly to assist but rather give our kids time to think for themselves.


What next:

This scenario can be practiced anywhere and anytime. I will certainly be bringing in variations to amp up the activity to ensure that I am addressing edge+1.

April ~ Day Three

A friend asked me a perfectly simple question. "Do you have to brush Nick's teeth?"

Yes, I do. We have tried many times to teach Nick to brush his own teeth, however, his severe dyspraxia and low tone makes it very difficult for him. He also chews his toothbrush so badly that I need to replace it every couple of weeks.

Mind you, that simple question was a bit of a 'aha' moment and has given me the motivation to try again.

I recently bought an electric toothbrush and introduced it to Nick a few days ago. The noise and vibration is not stressful for him, although he does clamp his lips together tightly which makes it difficult to reach each tooth!

Anyhow, I wrote up a RDI framework to help guide Nick in the process of learning how to use the electric toothbrush.

My objective was Edge+1 and I also wanted to encourage observation and the awareness of taking turns.

Activity:  

Using an electric toothbrush


Roles:      

#1  For this part of the plan I wanted to focus on a simple pattern and take turns
      I turn on the toothbrush. I turn off the toothbrush
      Nick turns on the toothbrush. Nick turns off the toothbrush

#2 This part of the plan is a little harder and quite difficult for Nick to coordinate
      I place the toothbrush on Nick's front teeth. I turn on the toothbrush and keep it on for a few seconds. I turn off the toothbrush.
      Nick places the toothbrush on his teeth and turns it on. Nick waits for a few seconds and then turns off the toothbrush.


Limits:

No screen distractions. Keep the activity short. No more than three turns each for both #1 and #2


Communication:

Describe the scenario. Use declarative comments. Chanting


What happened:

#1  Nick quickly picked up on the concept of taking turns. He did try putting the toothbrush in his mouth, therefore when it was my turn, I made a big deal of deliberately holding the toothbrush closer to my other hand and talking about the bristles and watching them move. I really wanted him to practice turning the toothbrush on and off before moving on. After a few attempts, I decided that he was ready for a little challenge.

#2  I spent quite a bit of time modeling this part of the activity. When it came to his turn, Nick was happy to put the toothbrush on his teeth, however, he found it very difficult to turn the toothbrush on. He had his thumb in the correct place but he couldn't see what he was doing. He didn't realise he could go by feel. He became a little anxious, therefore I decided to help scaffold the situation by helping him to turn on the toothbrush while it was in his mouth. After three turns each, I ended the activity.

What next:  We are going to be practicing this a lot over the next few days. I will carry on as per this framework and then make changes when I feel Nick is feeling confident and has made progress.

April ~ Day Two

Hey ho, it's laundry day!

For this RDI planned engagement my objective was to continue encouraging a working partnership with Nick. The more I expose him to short co-regulatory activities, the more he is comfortable to join me.

Activity:              Transferring dirty laundry from the clothes basket into the wash basket.

Roles:                  I pass Nick an item of clothing
                            Nick places the item into the wash basket

Limits:                 No TV. Keep transferring until clothes basket is empty.

Communication:  Explain each role. Use eye gaze and body language. Declarative comments

What happened:  I described our roles. Nick listened and then deliberately moved away from me, sitting himself down on the ottoman at the bottom of my bed. I paused what I was about to do and had a quick rethink about my plan. Nick was too far away from me, therefore I decided to throw him an item of clothing. Woohoo, he took up the challenge. He caught the item and promptly (using a basketball throw) threw it into the wash basket. We carried on this way until the clothing basket was empty. I adjusted the speed of my throwing and also took care to change the direction of my throw. Nick managed really well with the little changes.

Conclusion:          It is important to be flexible. Plans change.... it's called life!

April ~ Day One

Household chores are great. Cough, cough, splutter!

Seriously, they do provide fabulous opportunities to engage with Nick. Sometimes I fly by the seat of my pants, however, if I really want to focus on the activity, especially when working on Nick's 'edge+1', I always write up a framework sheet. This keeps me focused and I know exactly what I want us to achieve.


The objective for today's framework was for us to practice getting back into the groove of working together. It's been a while since our last RDI engagement. Blush.

Activity:  Washing the dishes

Roles:      I wash an item and place it into the rinsing sink (I have a twin sink)
                Nick takes the item out of the water and places it into the dish rack

Limits:     No music or iPad. We only wash six items

Communication:  Discuss and model each role. Pausing. Declarative comments. Thinking aloud

Conclusion:  Nick understood his role, although on one occasion I did need to pause the action and remind him about our roles. I am glad that I kept the activity short. Nick was making the sign for "finished" after four items, therefore it was helpful to spotlight to him that we only had to do two more items. Will revisit this activity over the next few days, adding little variations and challenges to our original roles.

A Spot of Guiding

Feeling incompetent is a horrible sensation. The heart pounds, the mind goes into overdrive and the body immediately hits fight or flight mode. Being challenged beyond the safe zone that I know is scary, however, having personal experience gives me some clues as to how my son feels when faced with the unknown.

Understanding that new experiences can be stressful helps me to be mindful about my approach with Nick (and myself). Using co-regulatory activities and the edge +1 concept, I assess Nick's level of competence and plan my next step to ensure that he is continuing to learn, yet scaffolding the activity in such a way that I don't overload him.

There are many ways to help guide him to make sure that he has opportunities to think for himself and make his own plans. I use non verbal gestures, declarative comments, noises, facial expressions, self-talk, modeling and spotlighting. The power of the pause also works a treat.

The following video clip is of our latest RDI planned engagement and is a good example of how I guide Nick. As you will see, Nick is not that keen on helping (that feeling of incompetence?), however, he stays with me! I carry on with what I am doing and invite him to join in. I immediately pick up on his sensory and motor planning problems and scaffold our engagement to make it easier for him. As soon as he starts showing signs of feeling competent with his role, I add in a little variation, making sure that I let him know what I am doing. I keep the new pattern relatively simple to ensure that we end on success.

Pegs Galore!

I wrote out a little schedule of events for Nick. It went something like this;

Breakfast
iPad
Hang out the washing

Nick hasn't been so keen on helping out with chores of late. It could be a teenage thing or perhaps the pull of the screen is stronger! Whatever the reason, I decided to give him advance warning.

The list helped enormously. He willingly turned off the iPad when I *invited* him to come and help hang out the washing (a small load of towels).

I had already decided on our roles and what I hoped to achieve during the activity. Initially my role was to hang up the washing and Nick's role was to hand me the pegs. Easy peasy. A relaxed and familiar co-regulatory pattern for us. Once that was established, I wanted to provide Nick with a little challenge and give him the opportunity to make an independent decision on how his role was going to change.

I approached this challenge by pegging the left hand side of the towel and then pausing. I didn't say anything or make any sort of gesture while waiting for Nick's response. To my delight he collected a peg and clipped it onto the towel. With each towel thereafter, I paused and gave Nick the opportunity to decide what he wanted to do. Each time he would take his own turn, although at times, the peg was placed in the middle of the towel or otherwise he would clip on two or more pegs. Although this didn't cause me any concern, I did spotlight his pegging by making little declarative comments..... 'That's a great place to put a peg'. 'Wow, you have put on lots of pegs'. The fact that he was making his own decisions was far more important to me than how many pegs he used!

The activity went well and we worked nicely together. I am thrilled that my plan to pause frequently and give Nick the time and space to make his own decisions, encouraged him to come up with a plan. Self discovery can be very powerful.