RDI ~ on the fly!

Being an RDI mum means that I journal a lot. It might be a nebulous little paragraph, perhaps a long story or even a photograph. Regardless of what I may write, it is certainly a great way to reflect and to keep track of our progress. 

The following is my latest journal entry.

It's been one of those slack days! The type of day that involves being a taxi mum and a dog walker. The hours in this type of day just fly by so quickly and before I know it, the day is over and I have put very little effort into *planned engagements* with Nick. Life happens and sometimes it is just best to go with it!

Anyhow, as I was on the way to the beach with boy and dog in tow, I was thinking away to myself (whilst driving very carefully!)... what could I do with Nick that would be productive, a learning experience and encourage a meaningful interaction! Ho hum, I started thinking about our latest RDI objective and how I have been incorporating the concept of easy and hard, whilst making juice and regulating the water flow from a tap. 

Water! Dog!  That's it..... when we get to the beach we can give the dog a drink of water. In my car I have an old ice-cream container and an old juice bottle full of water. I think of different scenarios to spotlight that what we are doing is *easy*. Generally, when we get to the beach, Nick takes off his shoes and stands there waiting for me to get organised. I wondered how he would react when I invited him to help me. I decided that Nick's role would be that of holding the container while I poured the water into it. He could then put the container on the ground! Yay, success! Nick responded to my invitation to help and he found the experience very easy. I spoke about how *easy* it was and then we all traipsed onto the beach. Okay... to tell the truth, Nick tentatively put one foot in front of the other and the dog immediately started sniffing the ground and munching on all sorts of delights (think the dog is going to feel very sorry for himself later!).

As the dog continued to explore his territory and Nick plonks himself down on the nearest log, I start thinking about what we have just done and mull over my next step. Hmm, I now need to spotlight that what we are doing is harder than what we did before. Again, I ponder over this... if we were to swap roles, how was Nick going to cope with taking the lid off the juice bottle and pouring the water into the container. Let's face it, his motor planning is not the best! In the end, I thought "why not".... this would actually be the perfect example for *hard*.

As we walk back to the car, I talk about the dog and how he will need some water, especially after eating that very dodgy fish head! Nick doesn't give me any indication that he has heard me, although when we reach the car, Nick went to collect the container (that I had left under the car). Nice one, Nick! 

Oops, no water! I take the juice bottle out of the car and give it to Nick. I then take the container and wait. I don't say anything as I want Nick to reference me for information. I want to see if he can decide what the next course of action is. I don't want to prompt him in any way! 

Nick turns the bottle upside down, over the container! Nothing happens, so I say, "ah, no water!". He pauses then decides to pull up the nozzle of the juice bottle. Still no water. Now it would be very easy for me to tell him what to do, BUT, I want him to figure it out for himself. Again, he pulls out the nozzle a bit more and then holds the bottle over the container.. nothing happens. (Nick doesn't realise that he can squeeze the bottle). I wait patiently, giving him the time to think about his next plan of action. I spotlight "oh no, this is hard to do". He realizes that the water isn't coming out and he stops. Within a few seconds, he has turned the bottle upright, taken off the lid and poured the water into the container! Fantastic, I am delighted that he has figured it out for himself. He did find it hard, however, he persevered and he was successful.

Yay, go Nick! 

Another nice memory to store in the bank.

As for me.... my mind is onto the next challenge. How can I extend on what we have done? Was there something I noticed during the interaction? What activity can I plan to emphasis the difference between easy and hard? What framework can I write up for a really effective *engagement*. 

Aha, Nick didn't know that he could squeeze the bottle to get the water to come out. There we have it, our next goal. This one will not be done *on the fly*. I will be writing up a framework sheet for a planned engagement.

Now, this is why I like spontaneous interactions. As we go about our day to day business, an opportunity may occur that I can take advantage of. I do put a lot of thought into what I want to achieve, I just don't write up a framework sheet. I like the fact that our informal interactions open up possibilities and give me food for thought.

Upwards and onwards!

RDI ~ reflections on episodic memory!

My boy has always been an incredibly anxious child. It is not uncommon for him to go into *fight or flight* mode when introduced to new experiences, concepts and anything else to do with LIFE! I am very aware that he would be extremely happy if he could spend the rest of his days glued to some electronic device. No doubt he would come up for air, although only when hungry and/or tired. Sadly for him, I am not on the same wavelength! 


As Nick's mum, it is my role to help guide my boy and show him that life isn't all big, bad and scary! New experiences can be fun. Learning new things doesn't have to be stressful. Going out into the community can be a positive and interesting exercise.


What I have discovered with Nick is that I have to take the *slow and gentle* approach. One of the ways in which I go about this is by working on his episodic memory (RDI).


I have learned over the years, that in order for my son to move forward, I need to help create a memory bank of positive moments for him. Moments that he can remember, learn from and then retrieve when needed. I want him to remember a particular moment and recall how it made him feel..... 


* Did he feel competent?
* Did he learn from that experience?
* Is he capable of moving one step forward from the experience?

To assist in building up Nick's episodic memory, I help him by introducing and guiding him through different experiences. I revisit old memories and build on to them. I also introduce new concepts and activities. At all times I need to be very aware and extremely mindful about my guiding. I must know exactly how far I can move Nick forward (that one step!) to ensure that what we are doing together is a positive learning experience. I am learning to take him to his level of competence and then one step further ~ believe me, it has been hard to rein myself in and it has been quite a journey to *slow myself down*!!


Please find below, three examples. One in which Nick solved a problem all by himself. Another where I am trying to turn an unhappy experience into a positive memory. Finally, an activity in which I am building up a memory bank to help Nick feel competent and for him to learn further.


I happened to see this one out of the corner of my eye and it was a big wow for me! The puppy was bothering Nick as he is wont to do! I saw Nick scanning the room and then go over to the puppy's bed. He picked up a toy, walked over to the puppy and gave him the toy. Voilà, the puppy then left Nick alone. Since that day, I often see Nick giving the puppy a toy when he wants him to go away! Nick has stored the memory of creating a solution and the solution was successful, hence it is now a regular pattern. Nick has solved the problem without assistance and has created his own episodic memory of the event.


Taking Nick for a haircut is certainly not a good example of a positive memory!! It has been ingrained into his episodic memory that having a haircut is an unpleasant experience!! However, over the years he has come to know what to expect. I have taken him slowly through the process and with a big smiley face.... Now Nick is happy to get out of the car (he used to cry when driving into the car park!). He is comfortable going into the Barber shop, sitting in the chair etc. He knows that he can choose the scissors or clippers. He is comfortable with the process until the barber starts cutting! (Then I bring out the iPad... when needs must and all that! )  


Recently I started including Nick in one of my daily chores activities... making cheese sauce! My first goal was for him to stay with me for a short while. He was there to observe part of the process and to take a little turn stirring the sauce. We created an episodic memory in which Nick didn't feel any pressure to participate. He soon realised that his role was to stir the sauce, although because it was for only a few seconds, he understood that I wasn't telling him what to do and expecting him to perform. He was happy to participate. We have now moved on from those early days (around three weeks ago!) and Nick is now taking on various roles with ease. He is comfortable with the experience and he can recall what he has learned so far... AND he trusts that I am not going to move him too far out of his comfort zone. Again, I am also aware of how far I can nudge him further to make our activity a learning experience and a positive interaction, thus building up a positive episodic memory.


To conclude... 


Has it worked for us? Yes, without a doubt! I have gone from having a child who refused to do anything with me, to a child who is comfortable trying new things with me! Gone are the days when he would sit on the couch shaking his head frantically for "no" and continually making the sign for "finished". Let's be real though! My son is extremely challenged and progress is slow ~ but I am OK with that!


Slowly but surely we move on..........

Disclaimer:  This post is my interpretation of episodic memory... I may be way off the mark!!!