Sunday, October 30, 2011

Blogging is cheap therapy

To be the parent of a child/teenager/adult with special needs is many things;


Challenging
Uplifting
A journey of pain and heartache
A learning curve 
A sad farewell to friends who can't/won't walk the path
A delight to meet new friends
Stressful
Motivating
Acceptance


There are many words to describe the journey that I am on.........


There are also words out there that can cut deep into the heart of many people. There are attitudes out there that can be really soul destroying.  


My child is 12 years old. It has taken me many years to come to terms with his disability; and I like to think that I have turned the corner! I have reached acceptance, although, I do accept that there are going to be times that the blues are going to hit me with a big WHAM!


I am a big girl, I have got my big girl panties on!!!!! 


But that doesn't mean to say that words don't hurt me. Words said without any thought behind them, words said unkindly, words alluding to my son with special needs, words said in a bitchy moment. I am so aware that the teenagers of today say demeaning words, without actually realising the damage that they can cause. I am also aware that adults use the same words. Most of the time I can take it all with a pinch of salt! :)  


After all, I am a big girl, I have got my big girl panties on!!!!! (If I say it often enough, I will come to believe it!)


But, when words and attitudes upset the siblings of children with special needs.... I am outraged. To look at my son's crestfallen face, to see the hurt in his eyes. To hear stories of teenagers bullying the siblings of children with special needs, the meanness of those kids, the hurt that cuts to the very bone of those being picked on! When our kids hurt, we hurt............... and in turn, when we are hurt, our kids feel it!


To end this post, I have a very short story..........
We are a family of four, we don't have ANY relatives in the country of our choice. Over the years we have been invited by various friends to spend Christmas Day with them. We truly have had some lovely times and I will never forget the friend who was very chilled and understanding when Nick (he was just a wee boy), silently and carefully, picked up each item of a very special nativity scene, and one by one proceeded to 'post' them out of the window.... where all but one broke into pieces!!

Another invite from a friend went something like this...... "Come and spend Christmas Day with us.  You can bring Nick BUT I am not having anything to do with him, you must be in charge of him!"  Needless to say, we didn't go and that person is no longer a friend! END OF STORY!

Jazzy, you are so right, blogging is cheap therapy!  Thank you x




3 comments:

  1. Thank you for this Di. It really touched me and I you've put the words on the 'paper' for all of us.

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  2. Aww..when I saw your post title I just HAD to pop back over! I have a label for my posts called just that. It's a new label, even though I'm blogging 3 years! It's a powerful way of releasing all those thoughts and emotions...and for keeping a record of all that happens...including achievements. It is great to go back a year and see what you wrote about your boy...hopefully you then see the tiny steps forward that have been made;-)

    You are right about that friend of yours and the Christmas invite. We've had something similar from family when my boy was younger!! I simply stopped going to events that weren't at a venue or a time that suited his needs. I put us first.

    xx Jazzy

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  3. So sorry to hear about this awful friend
    Many many many hugs

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