Curveballs and cake!

I took my Mum and Nick to visit one of my favourite coffee haunts, Churchill House.  Their space is incredibly tranquil and it is very easy to linger for an age over a lovely cappuccino and an exceptionally delicious Bee Sting (small cake).

Upon arrival we found a little spot in their garden and promptly ordered drinks and fattening stuff. Nick settled himself down and requested a milkshake. To our dismay, the waiter came back to inform us that the Bee Stings were still in the oven and that they didn't have any milkshakes! Eeek.

What to do? What to do?

I deliberated over our dilemma for a minute and then decided that we could walk to the local mall and spend some time wandering around. Nick took it all in his stride, although I could sense that he wasn't keen to go *window shopping* again! Typical boy. I also bought him a flavoured milk to drink back at Churchill's.

Anyway, half an hour passed and we headed back, lured by the smell of coffee and the anticipation of devouring a freshly baked Bee Sting. We chose a different table in the garden, placed our order and requested a glass for Nick's milk. The teen plonked himself down and asked for the iPad.

I have a mini iPad that I carry around with me. It has communication apps (which we very rarely use ~ blush), an app that we use ALL the time (Abitalk) and a ton of music. I handed the iPad over without any qualms. Nick stimmed away on his music and gulped down his milk (a new taste ~ woohoo).

I was so impressed with Nick's ability to cope with a lot of variation/change without any warning. A far cry from a few years ago. To be honest with you, if he needs to have some escapism time with the iPad after new experiences and challenges, then so be it! He gets such a kick out of listening to music and my brain switches off to the fact that I am hearing the same old pop song AGAIN!

~*~

Bye for now!

Hey ho, my last RDI/Autism blog post for the year!

2014 has seen some lovely growth in Nick. His increased resilience and flexibility has made for a better quality of life for the whole family. Although we make accommodations for him, our life is no longer ruled by autism. We make spontaneous decisions, change plans at the last minute and get to experience new places. Nick just goes with the flow (we do have the iPad for backup should he need a distraction).

How has Nick become more resilient and flexible?  Number one; he has a great team behind him. Number two; I continue to embrace the RDI way of life. One way of ensuring progress is to focus on the concept, 'edge plus one'. Therefore to finish off for the year, I thought I would share our last 'edge plus one' planned engagement.

~*~ 

I found a very yummy looking recipe for Ginger Biscuits, and considering that Nick is happy to get involved with cooking, I thought we could start by prepping the ingredients. To get him into the swing of the engagement, I chose to focus on weighing the flour. Nick is familiar with the reciprocal pattern; I take a turn/he takes the same turn; so I knew that he would feel comfortable with his role.

For the challenge, I decided that we could weigh the butter. This would be harder for Nick as it involved cutting the butter off the block and then transferring it to the bowl. This part of the activity would include a whole lot of motor planning and sensory stuff that Nick would have to deal with. All a bit tricky for him.

So....

Measure out the flour and take Nick to his *edge*
Measure out the butter = *plus one*

The following clip shows that Nick took on his role of measuring flour easily and he was very aware of taking turns. We both had a lot of fun and it is fabulous that we are coordinating our actions and working really well *together*. Nick is so relaxed and is happy to be part of the whole experience. 

edge

You will see in the clip below that Nick finds the challenge difficult, however, I am really thrilled that he keeps trying.

The power of video footage is huge. I can reflect on the challenge and ask myself:

What did I observe in terms of the challenge?
Did anything surprise me?
Was the challenge too hard?
Am I happy with my style of communication?
How was my scaffolding and how can I adapt it to assist with the challenge?
Did I offer opportunities for Nick to 'think for himself'?
Do I feel that the challenge turned the engagement into 'task mode'? If so, what can I do about it?
Was I too focused on following my plan or did I pause and 'rethink' my plan of action in order to help Nick.
Was the challenge a plus one..... or more?
What did I do well and where could I improve?
What will I do next time?

plus one

Well, that's it folks. I hope I have given you some food for thought! Have a fabulous holiday season. See you next year! 

Having a blitz

We are having a home day and it feels so good.  No rush, no stress, just a slow meandering type of day. I have been pottering about the kitchen and Nick has been parking off on the sofa, either listening to music or playing on the iPad.

Now, I am not one to sit back and let an opportunity pass me by (I exaggerate!!); so I figured that today could be used to connect with my boy.

I decided to invite Nick to join me in a few activities, using an RDI approach.

For each engagement I chose the roles that we were going to play, the comfortable and familiar pattern to start off with, the challenge that I was going to introduce and the style of language to use. I reminded myself to take it slow, pause a lot and give Nick time to hear the info, process the info and then react. Easier said than done I know..... but after a while on the RDI road, it becomes a piece of cake (cough, cough!).

In the process of cleaning up the kitchen I found a game that I had bought for Nick. Woohoo, great start to doing *stuff*.  The boy, who was all nice and snug on the sofa, was very happy to turn off his music and take a look at what I had to offer. We spent a few minutes going through the game and taking turns to collect letters in order to make simple words.

I then got a bee in my bonnet and emptied out the very messy bottom shelf of my pantry cupboard. I took a look at the dust, crumbs and tiny bits of rubbish that were gracing the cupboard and had an *aha* moment. We could use the small dustpan and brush to sweep out the mess. After hunting high and low for what was needed, I stood next to Nick with dustpan in hand  (yep, he was back on that couch!); and casually mentioned that I needed some help cleaning the cupboard. Well, he was up in a flash, although needed a little encouragement to put the iPad to one side (I frowned and gazed from the iPad to the bench). Thereafter, we worked so well together, one person holding the dustpan and the other working the brush. We then swapped roles. It went very smoothly and Nick seemed to enjoy the challenge.

Due to the cupboard clean out, I had a pile of junk now sitting in my Butler's sink. Another opportunity to invite Nick to help! I dragged in the large rubbish bin from the garage and together we took turns to transfer the rubbish from the sink to the bin. I used non verbal communication for this activity to slow down Nick's actions and encourage him to look to me for guidance. I felt a little pang when Nick picked up his old cassette player. He looked at it, fiddled around with the buttons and then put it in the bin. Out with the past!!

I was also left with a heap of stuff to keep.... but it was in need of a wash. Our next activity involved washing one item at a time and then passing that item to the other person. I scaffolded the activity by modeling how to use a dish brush; while making comments about what I was doing (talking aloud). Nick was so chilled and also very comfortable about swapping roles with me. It was interesting to note that he really battled with holding and washing at the same time. Something for us to work on another time.

After such a busy morning, it was time for Nick's lunch. Together we collected the fruit and veg needed for his juice. As I prepped the fruit, I invited Nick to help me cut them into pieces. Then I introduced the challenge of peeling the carrots. It just blows my mind how relaxed Nick was when confronted with something that is potentially hard for him. Of course he battled BUT he tried. I was there right beside him, guiding him when needed and assisting when required.

I always used to stress over what sort of RDI activities to do with Nick! Crazy really. In fact, it is so helpful to just take a look at my day and the things that I want to do. I can then fine tune my plans to include Nick in the process. #Mindfulguiding is my middle name! :-)

Do you find it easy to include your child?

RDI... from my perspective!

The why....


I enjoy talking about RDI and sharing my thoughts and the progress of my relationship with my child. My involvement with my son has moved on from being that of a carer to being an active participant. I can really feel my connection with Nick ~ it is if we have an invisible thread holding us together...we move and dip and sway.. rolling along but always together. I can see how relaxed my boy has become and I feel extremely *chilled* at taking him out into the community. I can hear my son connecting with me. He may not express himself with words but we communicate with ease. Life is slow. Life is calm. Life is good. 


The info.......


It is my understanding that RDI is divided into three categories. #1 Parent goals. #2 Student goals. #3 The Dynamic Curriculum. At present we are weaving and interlinking our way though #1 and #2. We are a long way off #3, however, I have no doubt that we will get there……. slowly but surely, we make progress!

The beauty of RDI is that each developmental stage has been carefully thought out in accordance with a child’s natural development. Each and every objective within each stage is there for a specific purpose. We may not have worked our way though many objectives during the past year, however, our personal growth has been positive and very visible. Nick’s level of competence has improved and he is much more confident at approaching new challenges. His increased flexibility and resilience has made life so much easier for us all. I have learned the importance of *engagement* and I rejoice in the strides that we have made in this area. I am also very aware that with any activity I do with Nick, the activity is only the *prop* for our connection with each other. I know the importance of non verbal communication and I am slowly coming to grips with using declarative language in a more natural way. Using this style of language with Nick works a treat. I enjoy watching him process and *think* about what I have said...... and yes, he always responds! :)


The how.....


When we are assigned an RDI objective, I take some time to think about what we are going to be doing. I choose a few activities that I can use as props. I write up a framework sheet for each activity:- our roles within the activity and the co-regulatory pattern that we will use. I make a point of setting myself some limits as it is very important to me that I don't push Nick too far beyond his level of competence. As Nick's guide, I need to be very aware of  taking him to the edge and just a little bit beyond. It is a fine line....if I take him too far, our interaction becomes more about the activity than our interaction, which defeats the purpose of what I am trying to achieve!

I have two video clips to share....

The first clip is on engagement ~ emotional investment and responsibility. My assignment went something like this. Consultant: I want to now concentrate on Nick's engagement *contract*. All this means is we are going to target Nick's engagement on a higher level. To do this, we start with seeing what he does when you are less engaged in moments of interaction. We want to see his understanding of his responsibility to do *something* to re-engage you . When you pause with engagement, I would like you to wait and have limited eye contact for approximately 30 seconds. What does Nick do? Then you can resume the activity."

We spent around two weeks working on this objective, using different activities to ensure that Nick didn't get *stuck* on the same old, same old! This is one of our final clips and you can see that Nick is very capable of re-engaging! You may wonder why I didn't respond immediately; but I know my Nick so well..... I wanted to wait until he re-engaged with purposeful intent......

My second video clip is also on engagement ~ keep going! This assignment follows on from the one above! Consultant: This next objective is to continue with Nick...being able to re-engage. You stopped engagement and he was still (with you). Now we want to see what happens if you leave the (space)...*lose focus* with instructions for Nick to keep going with the action you left him with.(very simple actions) First start off very simple and only *stop* your focus for 5 seconds. We will be focusing on giving him more opportunities in this area. You are going to be walking away or stopping more then you are used too! We are going to gradually build up time for Nick to *keep going*, understanding the end point but also being engaged, for  30 seconds.


As we work through the activity, I notice that Nick is involved with removing the items, however, he isn't referencing me for information. Therefore, I pause and wait for him to acknowledge the pause. I slowed down the whole process. You can see that Nick was comfortable with me moving away from the activity. He took a few moments to process that his role was to carry on unpacking the bag. I thought he did great. He easily slotted back into our pattern when I returned to the activity. The second time I moved away from the activity, I used the word *finished* without thinking about what I was saying. Whenever Nick hears the word *finished* he thinks we have *finished*!! I realised my mistake when I saw Nick leave the table and walk over to the camera. I didn't want the interaction to finish like this, so I went back to the camera and stood by Nick and made a point of commenting that I needed to turn the camera back on. You can see that he came back to the bag with me, without any fuss.  How's that for resilience? :)

The last paragraph for this blog post........


This is only a tiny peek through the window. A minuscule glimpse into my relationship with my boy. This blog of mine is my own personal journal to chronicle our journey. My beliefs are my own and I am comfortable with my choice of intervention. For further information on RDI and children who are at the other end of the spectrum, you can pop on over to my friend Zoe's blog, Food for Thought ~ adventures in the not Nigella not Jamie kitchen. You may like to take a look at this blog Jacob's Journey.  You could also go and check out Kathy's blog...What is RDI?

~*~

Today's facebook status.....

Me and the Nick have just walked for one hour and twenty minutes. We collected pinecones, threw stones, looked at the birds, waited for the zebras to move out of our way, hummed, blew raspberries, very carefully walked through long grass (phew, no snakes!) and we had the best time. 

~*`

~*~

Joyful January

I am starting out the new year in celebration of my son Nick.

What is there to rejoice about you may ask! Am I glad that I have a child with an intellectual disability? Am I delighted that he has autism/is autistic? Am I thrilled that I don't have the *freedom* of life like that of my friends? Of course I am heart sore that Nick will not get to experience life like his big brother. There is no doubt that I am concerned about his future and what is going to happen to him when I pop my clogs (so to speak!). Yes, I am terribly sad that we are a dysfunctional family and that there are times when Nick is excluded from family activities......

Over the years I have had a few choices;
1. Become an absolute misery and let my situation rule the rest of my life.
2. Become obsessed with autism to the detriment of my family.
3. Bore everyone to tears about the woes of having a child with special needs.
4. Pick myself up off the floor and keep moving.
5. Take on board my son's disability and all that it entails.
6. Become informed and also inform.
7. Accept my son for who he is and embrace his individuality.
8. Provide the right input to insure that he continues to progress.
9. Pull this child of mine into my arms and love him, no matter what.......

I choose to celebrate my son.

I celebrate the amusing stuff.

Nick has become very tactile and he has this need to touch my face and my arms. This is all very well, until he starts pulling on my jowls or flapping the underside of an arm!! On many a shopping trip, Nick will come to me and then pull in Thomas and Allan for a family hug. No doubt we have had some strange looks, although I prefer to remember the smiles! I enjoy how he is the typical boy when it comes to Bottom Burps (love Purple Ronnie!). He takes great delight in highlighting what he is about to do ~ how can you not smile at that!! It gives me joy to watch him initiate a chasing or throwing game with his brother. I love how Nick starts making his *humming* noise and then waits to see who will reciprocate! :-) 

I celebrate his little patterns.

Nick certainly shows signs of OCD! In fact, a few years ago, his need for repetitive patterns really hampered his progress with learning and living. This obsessive need has decreased, or perhaps, I have become accustomed to these odd quirky little patterns that are part of Nick. We have had the *drop to one knee* routine, the *go back and check the door* routine (oh, hang on, I also do that!!!!). This week it is the *close the loo door, run the fingers over the light switch a few times* routine. Last week, it was *have a sip of juice and then hold the container to the ear* routine. My word, we have had some funny ones! :-)

I celebrate his progress.

Nick continues to surprise me in all aspects of his development. A year ago, he was a stubborn mule, refusing to get off the couch and quite adamant that he was NOT going to engage with me! Today, he will sit on that same couch, look at me with a cheeky smile on his face, and then leap to his feet to come and join me! We have a lot of big words in our vocabulary; relationship, resilience, competence, flexibility, objectives, evaluation, personal experience memories, spotlight, reference, mastered, communication (and non verbal), perspectives, engagement, regulate, pacing........ and the list goes on... He is doing great, WE are doing great! :-)

I celebrate his nature.

Nick is a gentle soul. He is not an aggressive child. Sure, on occasion there will be a little bit of self injurious behaviour, however, this is generally under extreme stress or anger! I haven't seen much of this over the past year. He can be cross and shake his head for no. He can stamp his foot. He will wave goodbye when he doesn't want anyone around. He will sign "finished" if he has had enough. If we are doing something that he isn't keen on (long walks!) and he becomes *flat* and unresponsive, I start singing to him! His favourite jingle at the moment is Bananas in Pajamas and I only know three lines! This perks him up and gets him smiling! Nick is an uncomplicated chap and has ambitions of being a couch potato. Sadly for Nick, my ambitions for him are a little higher! :-)

Speaking of which, I need to stop procrastinating and get back on track with our latest objective...... It is all about Perspective! 

I celebrate Nick and I know that 2012 is going to be a very good year for us

~*~