Showing posts with label planned engagements. Show all posts
Showing posts with label planned engagements. Show all posts

April ~ Day Twenty Nine



I have enjoyed writing a blog post every day for the last month. It has been so helpful to look back and take stock of the planned engagements that I have shared here. Woohoo, I have a list that I can refer to! I am going to make sure that we keep up our practice with each activity and also keep adding little challenges. Self care also pops up on the list, as it should! Have you done anything special for you today?


1.  Washing dishes

2.   Laundry

3.   Brushing teeth

4.   Carrying heavy objects

5.   Self care (me)

6.   Cutting fruit

7.    Self care (me)

8.    Fine motor exercise using tweezers

9.    Sorting clothes

10.  Closing doors

11.  Self care (me)

12.  Walking together

13.  Packing a weekend case

14.  Unpacking foodstuff

15.  Self care (me)

16.  Declarative comments

17.  Setting limits!

18.  Making fruit and vegetable juice

19.  Bathtime

20.  Collecting the ingredients for cooking

21.  Self care (me)

22.  Emptying the dishwasher

23.  Board game

24.  A different board game

25.  Self care.  A poem.

26.  My thoughts

27.  Emptying the dishwasher (non-verbal)

28.  Sharing a blog post written by Lisa Palasti

29.  Today's post

30.  My final post for April 2017



Self care ~ today













Keeping it simple



Thinking up planned engagements doesn't have to be hard work. It is also not necessary to spend a lot of time on each engagement/activity. I find with Nick that if I spend too long on any one thing, the actual activity starts feeling like a chore. I don't want Nick to feel.....'groan, here we go again!' I prefer giving myself some sort of limit to guide me when to stop the activity, ensuring that I keep it short. Over time I have found that this approach keeps Nick interested and he is never resistant about joining me.

As always, when planning an engagement I take into account what Nick feels comfortable doing and ensure that I add in a little challenge. I decide on my objective/goals for the activity, what limits I am going to set and the style of language I want to use. It is so helpful to have a plan in place and it's not difficult to jot down your thoughts. I find that a written framework for an activity helps to keep me on track. I can also reflect on our experience and write down my thoughts on my approach for next time. Simple, yet effective.

Two easy planned engagements this afternoon. 

1:  I invited Nick to help me find the ingredients for Bolognese sauce. My role was to let him know what I needed. His role was to find each item. Nick is familiar with this type of scenario, however, this time I introduced items that he was unsure of. He did require extra scaffolding and I used eye gaze and declarative comments to assist him. My self imposed limit for this activity was seven items. Once they had been found, the activity ended.




2:  I asked Nick to turn off his iPad and invited him to help me wash the dishes. He responded immediately and came to check out what I was doing. I had set aside eight items. My role was to wash an item and pass it to Nick. His role was to rinse the item and place on the drying rack. Nick was unaware of what was expected, so I modelled the sequence for him before inviting him to take a turn. He picked up on the pattern quickly, although at times missed out on rinsing. I made little noises or declarative comments to remind him to rinse. 




We all have household chores to do and they offer up many opportunities for planned engagements. If you are a regular reader, you will know that we cook a lot of Bolognese sauce! No matter how many times I cook it, there is always a different way to introduce a new challenge to Nick...... and that includes cleaning up the mess! :)

Happy cooking!



Having a blitz


We are having a home day and it feels so good.  No rush, no stress, just a slow meandering type of day. I have been pottering about the kitchen and Nick has been parking off on the sofa, either listening to music or playing on the iPad.

Now, I am not one to sit back and let an opportunity pass me by (I exaggerate!!); so I figured that today could be used to connect with my boy.

I decided to invite Nick to join me in a few activities, using an RDI approach.

For each engagement I chose the roles that we were going to play, the comfortable and familiar pattern to start off with, the challenge that I was going to introduce and the style of language to use. I reminded myself to take it slow, pause a lot and give Nick time to hear the info, process the info and then react. Easier said than done I know..... but after a while on the RDI road, it becomes a piece of cake (cough, cough!).

In the process of cleaning up the kitchen I found a game that I had bought for Nick. Woohoo, great start to doing *stuff*.  The boy, who was all nice and snug on the sofa, was very happy to turn off his music and take a look at what I had to offer. We spent a few minutes going through the game and taking turns to collect letters in order to make simple words.


I then got a bee in my bonnet and emptied out the very messy bottom shelf of my pantry cupboard. I took a look at the dust, crumbs and tiny bits of rubbish that were gracing the cupboard and had an *aha* moment. We could use the small dustpan and brush to sweep out the mess. After hunting high and low for what was needed, I stood next to Nick with dustpan in hand  (yep, he was back on that couch!); and casually mentioned that I needed some help cleaning the cupboard. Well, he was up in a flash, although needed a little encouragement to put the iPad to one side (I frowned and gazed from the iPad to the bench). Thereafter, we worked so well together, one person holding the dustpan and the other working the brush. We then swapped roles. It went very smoothly and Nick seemed to enjoy the challenge.

Due to the cupboard clean out, I had a pile of junk now sitting in my Butler's sink. Another opportunity to invite Nick to help! I dragged in the large rubbish bin from the garage and together we took turns to transfer the rubbish from the sink to the bin. I used non verbal communication for this activity to slow down Nick's actions and encourage him to look to me for guidance. I felt a little pang when Nick picked up his old cassette player. He looked at it, fiddled around with the buttons and then put it in the bin. Out with the past!!


I was also left with a heap of stuff to keep.... but it was in need of a wash. Our next activity involved washing one item at a time and then passing that item to the other person. I scaffolded the activity by modeling how to use a dish brush; while making comments about what I was doing (talking aloud). Nick was so chilled and also very comfortable about swapping roles with me. It was interesting to note that he really battled with holding and washing at the same time. Something for us to work on another time.


After such a busy morning, it was time for Nick's lunch. Together we collected the fruit and veg needed for his juice. As I prepped the fruit, I invited Nick to help me cut them into pieces. Then I introduced the challenge of peeling the carrots. It just blows my mind how relaxed Nick was when confronted with something that is potentially hard for him. Of course he battled BUT he tried. I was there right beside him, guiding him when needed and assisting when required.


I always used to stress over what sort of RDI activities to do with Nick! Crazy really. In fact, it is so helpful to just take a look at my day and the things that I want to do. I can then fine tune my plans to include Nick in the process. #Mindfulguiding is my middle name! :-)

Do you find it easy to include your child?





What a good mother!!

Sigh, I am not so good at being a mum who supplies ready baked cookies for school lunch boxes! In fact I am down right useless! Nick doesn't eat any type of biscuit or cake, which is a bit of a bonus considering his really bad diet! The other kid of mine will munch his way through anything and he often throws me a little line that makes my mother guilt rise to the surface! 

I eyed up the three very over ripe bananas that had been sitting on the bench for the last few days. Bleurgh, no way would they be eaten and it would be a waste to throw them out! Time to make a plan (and appease my guilt!)


I haven't done much with Nick over the last few days as the poor kid has been a bit under the weather with a head cold. However, he did perk up today so I took advantage of this and wrote up four (yes, four!) planned engagements for us to do together. All easy stuff with a hint of a challenge!


#1. First up, I chatted to Nick about a shopping list. I suggested an item that we needed to buy and he then typed the word using his Lightwriter. The challenge for him was to wait for me to acknowledge the word that he had typed and then WAIT for me to write it down on a piece of paper. The waiting is hard for Nick as he tends to type a word and then quickly erase it! The challenge was successful, although I did keep the engagement short and only focused on five words (without being too bothered with the spelling).



Hah, Nick can spell 'butter'.... I never knew! :)

#2  With shopping list in hand, we then headed off to the supermarket for our next planned engagement. Grocery shopping is a breeze for Nick, although of late I have been a bit slack about adding variation to our little routines. Usually I will pass an item to Nick and he will put it in the trolley, however, this time he needed to be aware of what I was saying and where I was looking, in order to choose the correct item and then GIVE it to me! 


#3 Fast forward to later in the day. We needed to peel the bananas to add to the other ingredients and the video clip below shows how we went about this.  





#4  Last but not least, we then had to remove the cooked Banana Bread from the baking tin and then peel off the paper. Nick has never done this before and he was an absolute champ, although he wasn't too keen on the *feel* of the greasy paper! 



So, there you have it. Four planned engagements that were very simple and just enough of a challenge in order for Nick to learn further. Four opportunities for me to practice guiding my boy to *think* for himself. And one freshly baked Banana Bread for my first born!! 

~*~


I read this short ARTICLE today and wanted to share it for those of you who are interested in learning further about RDI. 


Thinking about activities


When it comes to planning any type of RDI engagement with Nick, I sometimes struggle to think of an activity that I could use as a prop for that engagement.

Nick can be a bit of a tricky customer, in that he is limited in what he can do. In part this is due to his motor planning issues and lack of imagination. He does not have any interest in playing independently and he needs a lot of guidance to ride a bike, kick a ball, draw or paint! He really battles with something as simple as brushing his teeth.

The advantage of Nick’s limitations is that there are SO many activities I can introduce to him. Anything and everything I do with Nick will be a learning curve for him and an awesome opportunity to engage with each other. I am very aware that the interaction is more important than the activity, although I think that it can be a two way street, as the activity can also be a learning tool.

For a while now I have been focusing on the chores that need to be done around the house. You know..... cooking, cleaning and all that other fun stuff that needs to be done daily! It has actually been working out quite well and I have discovered that Nick is quite happy to get involved with food preparation. 

Nick is also a whiz at the supermarket. Shopping with my boy is such a breeze these days and it provides further engagement opportunities. I am sure that we look quite a sight in the isles, as at times we have a bit of a throwing contest. For example, I might toss a carton of milk to Nick and he will then deliberately throw it into the trolley (he is very aware that I want the carton to be placed carefully!). *Ooh, I have just thought of an idea ~ we can have a throwing activity at home but use breakable items such as eggs!

Now that we have added two dogs to our family, I have also been setting up planned engagements in which we have to collect the dog toys, feed the dogs or even take turns to throw the dogs a ball. 

Just for interest sake I am going to list a few examples of simple activities I have chosen in the past and continue to build onto, step by step.... 

Cooking

* I collect an item from the cupboard and pass it to Nick. He places it on the counter
* I give an item to Nick and he places it in the cupboard
* Together we put the items away
* I measure out ingredients and Nick puts them into the bowl
* I pour an ingredient into a bowl and Nick stirs 
* I stir, Nick stirs
* Together at the same time, we spoon the mixture into another bowl
* Nick adds an ingredient to the bowl and I stir
* I pass Nick a dirty plate and he puts into the dishwasher
* Nick holds the jug and I turn on the tap and together we fill the jug
* I cut up the vegetables and Nick places them in the saucepan
* Together we put the rubbish into the bin

Very simple co-regulatory activities, yet initially very difficult for Nick to do. Through my guidance he now feels competent with all of the above. 

My next step is to now think about his next step! How can I expand on what he already knows? What can I add that will be a little challenge for him? What can I do to invite him to take that one step beyond his level of competence?

Onwards and upwards.......


~*~


If you are on facebook you can find me and my boy by clicking on this link..... Bright Side of Life!

RDI ~ Practicing my parenting!

I have been having an internal debate with myself, as well as tossing a few words backwards and forwards with our consultant.....

I realise that the way in which I guide my child is paramount to the success of RDI. In order for me to be effective, I need to know why I am learning to guide Nick, how I am going to guide him and what I plan to do with him in order to practice what I have learned. I also need to be comfortable with self evaluation and use each experience to reassess and plan for the next step. 


Now, I am a bit of a *go with the flow* kind of chick and I also like to take advantage of unplanned moments. Therefore, I feel that living an RDI lifestyle is important and that spontaneous interaction is a good thing! However, the powers that be, feel that *planned engagements* are far more important in order to learn, grow and move forward. For sure, I agree..... but what about all those opportunities that can be taken advantage of even though they haven't been planned down to the last spotlight? 


Funnily enough, an incident happened this week to highlight to me that actually, in reality, *planned engagements* are HUGE! The following are my reflections on a *planned engagement* that didn't go according to plan. I made a fundamental mistake and had to fly by the seat of my pants! 



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The challenge for my planned engagement was to offer Nick the choice of two activities and make note of the fact... did he choose the more challenging activity rather than the activity he was more comfortable with. This also ties in with our latest objective, where I am spotlighting to Nick that what we are doing is easy or hard.

I have to be honest and say that the activities didn't really go as planned, however, I thought it would be a good opportunity to post the video footage and reflect on our interaction. I offered Nick the choice of stacking the dishwasher or cleaning a window. I was so sure that Nick would choose *cleaning a window* ...that I didn't write up a planned engagement for *dishwasher*!!! (big mistake!).  When he chose the dishwasher, I had to quickly rethink of a familiar pattern that we had used in the past. This is where the supposedly planned engagement turned into an unplanned interaction. Due to the fact that I hadn't written up a framework, I didn't have a goal in mind, so I just had to wing it as I went along. However, what I do like about our interaction is that Nick is *with me* and in the mode. 
  • What did you observe in terms of the challenge? Nick was very quick to choose an activity before I had given him the options. The video footage doesn't show it but I ignored his first attempt and then made a comment about the different activities. I was kind of hoping that he would change his mind and choose the activity that I had written a framework for. I really thought he would have chosen to clean the windows first, due to the fact that we had done the same activity yesterday and that he had found it easy. I am assuming that he chose the dishwasher because it was very familiar to him and he felt comfortable with it. Therefore, he actually did not choose the more challenging activity! *Note to self ~ never assume!!
  • Did anything surprise you? Yes, as mentioned above... he didn't choose the activity that I thought he would!
  • Site some time codes that you feel are important.
  • 0.44: Nick has picked up the cup from the bottom rack and is placing it into the top rack. He goes to place it upside down and I make the comment "turning". Nick immediately turns the cup. This is extremely important to note, because it really shows how Nick's processing as sped up. It took a split second for him to react to my word "turning" and make the adjustment. Very happy mum!
  • 1.03: I make a comment about the plate not fitting on the top. Nick immediately removes the place. He is listening and referencing for information. We are working *together*.
  • 1.15: Nick is rushing ahead so I hold onto the plates and say that I am not ready. This is where Nick gets a little stressed BUT he is fine. I stand my ground.
  • 1.39: Nick is *waiting* for what I am going to do next.. and when I pause for too long he quickly comes to me and nods his head for *yes*... too funny.. Great that he is knows communication is a two way thing.
  • 1.55. Nick doesn't put any thought into how he puts the plate into the dishwasher. I see this and quickly put my hand over my mouth and then reference the plate. Nick observes my reactions and quickly understands what needs to be done and makes adjustments to the plate. Again, I am being mindful of how I communicate and Nick is referencing me for info.
  • 2.45: Nick is rushing and the plate hasn't been put in correctly. I make a comment about the plate being up the wrong way so Nick then opens the door again and moves the plate. What I like about this is I am pushing Nick just one step further and he is going with the challenge. However, I am careful to move him along only one step... and no further.
  • What did you do well in this frame? I like that I didn't let Nick take control and rush through the activity.  Although I set limits by holding onto the plates and not letting Nick have them, I made sure to keep a reassuring smile on my face and let him know that I wasn't ready yet. This really stopped him in his track.....  he got a little stressed at times (although, hardly). However, he coped really well and very cleverly brought in some non verbal nodding for yes and no... I laughed at this. For an unplanned interaction, I am actually very happy with the way it turned out. I also think that this particular interaction really was all about the connection between the two of us and that *doing the activity* came second.
  • Is there anything you would change: I would certainly be more prepared! A lesson to me to *not * assume what Nick is going to choose to do! Next time I will insure that I have written up a framework plan for both activities!  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 
CONCLUSION: Due to the fact that I wasn't prepared for our planned engagement, I can now see the benefit of writing up a framework sheet for each activity. To get the most out of each interaction I have with Nick, I need to know what my goal is and how I am going to go about obtaining it. I need to be fully aware of Nick's level of competence and what I need to do to take him one step further. 

I can see from the above reflections and the video footage, that I forgot to highlight the easy/hard aspect of the interaction. What we were doing together was a hastily, put together plan that did not have a goal. I hadn't put any thought into adding a challenge. However, I am not going to beat myself up over it and will just chalk this one up to experience. We had a really nice connection... and that to me, was worthwhile.

I still think that spontaneous interactions and living an RDI lifestyle is important, however, the focus is on being mindful about what I have been learning and put it into practice. For the real learning to take place I need to plan and write up a framework for each engagement in order to move forward.

Does this sound a bit *over complicated* and am I *over thinking* my relationship with Nick? To put it into perspective.... we have just been invited out for lunch with friends ~ at a restaurant ~ with noise, kids and lots of mayhem! We are taking Nick!!! I would have turned down the invitation 18 months/1 year ago because Nick would not have been able to cope. In fact, I would have felt extremely stressed worrying about Nick's stress. This may sound corny, however, it is thanks to RDI that our life has taken a turn for the better!

~*~