50 Random thoughts from a SN mother

1.    So what if he loves watching Mr Bean. Every day.

2.    I will be singing 'The Wheels on the Bus' forever. 

3.    I must get off my butt and introduce some new food.

4.    Smile and wave, people. Smile and wave!

5.    It is okay to have down days.

6.    Chocolate helps.

7.    Friends who walk a similar path also help.

8.    Life is an adventure. 

9.    Seriously, do not take life too seriously. 

10.  Toileting. Shit happens!

11.   Puberty. Just go with it.

12.   Where there is a will, there is a way.

13.   It is always possible to make a plan. 

14.   Missed milestones are really hard.

15.   His laughter is the best sound in the world.

16.   Damn, that kid is hairy.

17.  Why does he always post my book under my bed?

18.  Seriously kid, the teaspoon does not go into the rubbish bin!

19.  Sigh, the rubbish does not go in the sink.

20.  Life is random.

21.  Suck it up.

22.  He said 'oh shit'. Woohoo, he said 'oh shit'.

23.  "Nick, don't point at people, it's rude." Oh, the irony.

24.  It's great that he loves to point out things of interest. A wee bit tricky while I am driving.

25.  Why is it that I get called to the bathroom the second I sit down to eat my lunch?

26.  I love this child so much it hurts.

27.  Do all autistic kids ask the same questions again and again and again?

28.  I am patient, I am patient, I am patient.

29.  Joint attention with this kid is the bomb.

30.  Eish, I can be so static at times!

31.  He has way too much iPad. #badmum #timeout

32.  It's okay to acknowledge chronic sorrow.

33.  Parties are hard.

34.  Comparing Nick to his peers really really sucks.

35.  Damn, he should be in his last year of school next year. #sadmum

36.  Moving right along....

37.  Hey, at least I still get to see Pixar movies!

38.  I love that we can take Nick anywhere.

39.  Life is much easier now that we can be spontaneous.

40.  I need to ramp up Nick's non-existent exercise routine.

41.  Hang on a sec..... the husband needs to ramp up Nick's non-existent exercise routine!

42.  I now wake up as early as Nick!

43.  He brings me grief, yet also brings so much joy.

44.  Some days I want to run away.

45.  When I am away from him, I want to be by his side.

46.  He was certainly born into the right family. #lovestraveling

47.  When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping.

48.  Embracing our slow way of life.

49. Don't worry, be happy.

50.  My heart is full.

A Spot of Guiding

Feeling incompetent is a horrible sensation. The heart pounds, the mind goes into overdrive and the body immediately hits fight or flight mode. Being challenged beyond the safe zone that I know is scary, however, having personal experience gives me some clues as to how my son feels when faced with the unknown.

Understanding that new experiences can be stressful helps me to be mindful about my approach with Nick (and myself). Using co-regulatory activities and the edge +1 concept, I assess Nick's level of competence and plan my next step to ensure that he is continuing to learn, yet scaffolding the activity in such a way that I don't overload him.

There are many ways to help guide him to make sure that he has opportunities to think for himself and make his own plans. I use non verbal gestures, declarative comments, noises, facial expressions, self-talk, modeling and spotlighting. The power of the pause also works a treat.

The following video clip is of our latest RDI planned engagement and is a good example of how I guide Nick. As you will see, Nick is not that keen on helping (that feeling of incompetence?), however, he stays with me! I carry on with what I am doing and invite him to join in. I immediately pick up on his sensory and motor planning problems and scaffold our engagement to make it easier for him. As soon as he starts showing signs of feeling competent with his role, I add in a little variation, making sure that I let him know what I am doing. I keep the new pattern relatively simple to ensure that we end on success.