Let me tell you this....... Relationship Development Intervention is not a walk in the park! It is not as easy as it sounds!
When people ask me to tell them about it....... I generally say; It is about building the guide/apprentice relationship (i.e. me and Nick, mother and son) It is about me learning how to be an effective guide (believe me, I really need this!) It is about going over the developmental stages that Nick has missed out on and getting him back on track (oh s**t, this is going to take a long time!) It is about the interaction between us! It is about me giving Nick to the opportunity to 'think for himself' It is about DYNAMIC THINKING! (This just the tip of the iceberg!)
Sounds easy, right???
I didn't need to think about any of this with Thomas when he was a wee boy..... and we still have an easy flow to our relationship (except when I am yelling at him for not organising his soccer kit the night before and now his dad is waiting in the car and they are going to be late for collecting Oliver and getting to the school bus before it leaves blah blah blah!!!). All 'normal' stuff! :)
Back to Nick....... we have been working on 'US', however, I am really battling with...... "Instead you should feel that there was a connection, a moment where there was nothing in the way, just pure connection". This is really hard! Nick is great at staying with me and interacting with me........ BUT it is really hard to get that "pure connection".
Thankfully, I have someone to guide me!
If you are interested in learning a bit more about; Reaching your child Experience the Experience Anticipate you’re actions/reactions to guide your child Collaborate interactions in your day Helping your child to communicate without words You can check out this Cheat Sheet!.
Right, that's it, no more procrastinating........ it's time to get with the program.... again!
I am reading RDI, I am thinking RDI, I am talking RDI.......... and as soon as I get my list together... we will get back todoingRDI!!
For sure, I can implement RDI during the day, however, I find that I am a lot more focused if I know what I want to do, how I am going to do it and what my expectations are. At this stage of my RDI journey I still need to create a written framework for each activity that I wish to do with Nick. I need to write down the chosen activity, my role and Nick's role within that activity, I need to establish the boundaries and also make note of any external factors that may be distracting and that need to be removed!
I am capable of doing all of the above without completing a written plan, however, (and I repeat!!) I remain more focused if I have written down my objectives and stick to them! I have also decided to put together (a relaxed and flexible!!) daily schedule, to enable me to look at what I am doing during the day and how I can include Nick!
The most important point of any objective is to remember that any activity/interaction we do together must be about 'US' not about the task itself! My child is very task orientated, however, his biggest problem is building relationships; and this is what I want to focus on! (of course there are many other issues, but I am not going to address them in this post!).
I am also building up a list of 'stuff' to do with Nick. He is a tricky child - he doesn't play, he has never played, he lacks the intrinsic desire (polite way of saying no imagination!!!) to play. As you can imagine that makes life a little more difficult! What do you do with a kid who doesn't play?? As you will see, my list includes many household activities...... I am going to be squeezing some play stuff in there as I go along! :)
Interaction ideas (and these are just basic starting points!)
Making noises: Nick is beginning to imitate sounds so I am going to make the most of it!
Clapping games: the boy is not good at this so we will start out slowly; ie: high fiving!
Trampoline: I bounce, Nick bounces (if I can get him on it!!!!!)
Swinging: I swing, Nick swings. We swing together.
Gardening: I cut a twig, Nick puts it in a box.
Stacking the dishwasher: Taking out the plates/cutlery. Putting in the plates/cutlery
Collecting the newspaper/mail: This will be about the walking – not the collection of the paper.
Eating/giving food: I will place one chip/piece of apple on the table, Nick will put in the bowl.
Brushing hair: I will do one stroke of his hair and then give the brush to Nick, for him to then brush.
Bath time: I wash Nick's leg, he then washes his leg (or whatever!). I pour water, he pours water....
Hand tower: Nick doesn't understand this concept. I will place my hand on top of his, only once! (it's a start!)
Grocery shopping: I hand Nick an item, he puts it in the trolley/on the conveyor belt. I hand him a bag, he puts it in the car! I unpack at home and pass Nick an item, he can put it in the cupboard.
Laundry: I pass Nick an item of clothing, he puts it in the washing machine.
Books: He holds the book, I turn the pages. I hold the book, he turns the pages.
I could carry on and on................ but it is bed time! The following video clip is just for fun, please excuse the camera man..... he is a bit wobbly and the quality of the film is not the best!
