Rolling with it........

Today was going to be a me and Nick kind of day. The other two members of my family had a school function which involved hitting little balls with very long sticks. Their day actually fitted in quite nicely with this post because for my next RDI planning engagement I had decided to work with little balls and very long sticks, namely, whatever balls the dog hadn't chewed to bits and two brooms. *note to self.... Make sure the dog is not in the same room when we are trying out my crazy plan!

I have been a bit slack with my boy this past week. Life happens, right? Therefore, for the sake of today and to make me feel better about my role as Nick's mum, I was going to make a conscious effort to involve him in whatever I was doing in and around the house.

Okay, the morning went for a bit of a ball (pun intended!). I received a lovely phone call from my Mum in New Zealand. Don't ask me how long she talked for.. but let me tell you that Nick took full advantage of the fact that I was otherwise engaged. On went that computer and out came his books. At one point he collected up all of his books and went to lie on my bed. He had turned the volume up on the computer and was listening to the disc from afar! My Mum did have a bit of a whinge about the weather (it always rains where she lives!). Anyhow, I thought I would be a nice daughter and provide her with a quick pic of our weather. I can't resist winding her up!

Throughout the course of the day we did manage to have a few interactions. It may look like Nick is brushing his teeth but what the photo doesn't show is that we are taking turns. The same goes for stacking the dishwasher, I placed an item and then he placed an item and so on. We used a simultaneous pattern to cut his apple ~ Nick is battling to co-ordinate his actions with my actions so I need to spend some time on this. We also popped to the shop for some bread and milk. Again, we took turns in carrying the items etc. 

I try to be mindful and include Nick in what I am doing. Of course it would be easier to just do my own thing, however, I think that it is important and also a good opportunity to work on and experience engagement with my boy. Unfortunately, Nick was a bit flat today and wasn't really interested or motivated to interact with me. Our chores felt like..... chores! :)

We did have our planned engagement with two brooms and two balls, however, the least said the better on that one. I need to re-think my framework and try again tomorrow!

By 4pm I had cabin fever and was feeling VERY irritated. The best thing to do was load the kid and dog into the car and hit the beach. The dog had a blast, as he is wont to do. It took Nick a good 15 minutes to shake off his sombre mood and thereafter he had a great time. There was one little embarrassing moment.... Nick started to point vigorously at a young woman's chest and I was apologising profusely until I realised that she had a picture of a cat on her t-shirt and Nick was pointing and making the sign for 'cat'.... blush! We had a fantastic walk and stayed out far longer than I had planned. Nick's dinner ended up being later than normal, but so what!

Well, my little... go with the flow, *RDI on the fly* plan didn't go so well today. 

Such is life......

~*~

RDI... from my perspective!

The why....


I enjoy talking about RDI and sharing my thoughts and the progress of my relationship with my child. My involvement with my son has moved on from being that of a carer to being an active participant. I can really feel my connection with Nick ~ it is if we have an invisible thread holding us together...we move and dip and sway.. rolling along but always together. I can see how relaxed my boy has become and I feel extremely *chilled* at taking him out into the community. I can hear my son connecting with me. He may not express himself with words but we communicate with ease. Life is slow. Life is calm. Life is good. 


The info.......


It is my understanding that RDI is divided into three categories. #1 Parent goals. #2 Student goals. #3 The Dynamic Curriculum. At present we are weaving and interlinking our way though #1 and #2. We are a long way off #3, however, I have no doubt that we will get there……. slowly but surely, we make progress!

The beauty of RDI is that each developmental stage has been carefully thought out in accordance with a child’s natural development. Each and every objective within each stage is there for a specific purpose. We may not have worked our way though many objectives during the past year, however, our personal growth has been positive and very visible. Nick’s level of competence has improved and he is much more confident at approaching new challenges. His increased flexibility and resilience has made life so much easier for us all. I have learned the importance of *engagement* and I rejoice in the strides that we have made in this area. I am also very aware that with any activity I do with Nick, the activity is only the *prop* for our connection with each other. I know the importance of non verbal communication and I am slowly coming to grips with using declarative language in a more natural way. Using this style of language with Nick works a treat. I enjoy watching him process and *think* about what I have said...... and yes, he always responds! :)


The how.....


When we are assigned an RDI objective, I take some time to think about what we are going to be doing. I choose a few activities that I can use as props. I write up a framework sheet for each activity:- our roles within the activity and the co-regulatory pattern that we will use. I make a point of setting myself some limits as it is very important to me that I don't push Nick too far beyond his level of competence. As Nick's guide, I need to be very aware of  taking him to the edge and just a little bit beyond. It is a fine line....if I take him too far, our interaction becomes more about the activity than our interaction, which defeats the purpose of what I am trying to achieve!

I have two video clips to share....

The first clip is on engagement ~ emotional investment and responsibility. My assignment went something like this. Consultant: I want to now concentrate on Nick's engagement *contract*. All this means is we are going to target Nick's engagement on a higher level. To do this, we start with seeing what he does when you are less engaged in moments of interaction. We want to see his understanding of his responsibility to do *something* to re-engage you . When you pause with engagement, I would like you to wait and have limited eye contact for approximately 30 seconds. What does Nick do? Then you can resume the activity."

We spent around two weeks working on this objective, using different activities to ensure that Nick didn't get *stuck* on the same old, same old! This is one of our final clips and you can see that Nick is very capable of re-engaging! You may wonder why I didn't respond immediately; but I know my Nick so well..... I wanted to wait until he re-engaged with purposeful intent......

My second video clip is also on engagement ~ keep going! This assignment follows on from the one above! Consultant: This next objective is to continue with Nick...being able to re-engage. You stopped engagement and he was still (with you). Now we want to see what happens if you leave the (space)...*lose focus* with instructions for Nick to keep going with the action you left him with.(very simple actions) First start off very simple and only *stop* your focus for 5 seconds. We will be focusing on giving him more opportunities in this area. You are going to be walking away or stopping more then you are used too! We are going to gradually build up time for Nick to *keep going*, understanding the end point but also being engaged, for  30 seconds.


As we work through the activity, I notice that Nick is involved with removing the items, however, he isn't referencing me for information. Therefore, I pause and wait for him to acknowledge the pause. I slowed down the whole process. You can see that Nick was comfortable with me moving away from the activity. He took a few moments to process that his role was to carry on unpacking the bag. I thought he did great. He easily slotted back into our pattern when I returned to the activity. The second time I moved away from the activity, I used the word *finished* without thinking about what I was saying. Whenever Nick hears the word *finished* he thinks we have *finished*!! I realised my mistake when I saw Nick leave the table and walk over to the camera. I didn't want the interaction to finish like this, so I went back to the camera and stood by Nick and made a point of commenting that I needed to turn the camera back on. You can see that he came back to the bag with me, without any fuss.  How's that for resilience? :)

The last paragraph for this blog post........


This is only a tiny peek through the window. A minuscule glimpse into my relationship with my boy. This blog of mine is my own personal journal to chronicle our journey. My beliefs are my own and I am comfortable with my choice of intervention. For further information on RDI and children who are at the other end of the spectrum, you can pop on over to my friend Zoe's blog, Food for Thought ~ adventures in the not Nigella not Jamie kitchen. You may like to take a look at this blog Jacob's Journey.  You could also go and check out Kathy's blog...What is RDI?

~*~

Today's facebook status.....

Me and the Nick have just walked for one hour and twenty minutes. We collected pinecones, threw stones, looked at the birds, waited for the zebras to move out of our way, hummed, blew raspberries, very carefully walked through long grass (phew, no snakes!) and we had the best time. 

~*`

~*~

Joyful January

I am starting out the new year in celebration of my son Nick.

What is there to rejoice about you may ask! Am I glad that I have a child with an intellectual disability? Am I delighted that he has autism/is autistic? Am I thrilled that I don't have the *freedom* of life like that of my friends? Of course I am heart sore that Nick will not get to experience life like his big brother. There is no doubt that I am concerned about his future and what is going to happen to him when I pop my clogs (so to speak!). Yes, I am terribly sad that we are a dysfunctional family and that there are times when Nick is excluded from family activities......

Over the years I have had a few choices;
1. Become an absolute misery and let my situation rule the rest of my life.
2. Become obsessed with autism to the detriment of my family.
3. Bore everyone to tears about the woes of having a child with special needs.
4. Pick myself up off the floor and keep moving.
5. Take on board my son's disability and all that it entails.
6. Become informed and also inform.
7. Accept my son for who he is and embrace his individuality.
8. Provide the right input to insure that he continues to progress.
9. Pull this child of mine into my arms and love him, no matter what.......

I choose to celebrate my son.

I celebrate the amusing stuff.

Nick has become very tactile and he has this need to touch my face and my arms. This is all very well, until he starts pulling on my jowls or flapping the underside of an arm!! On many a shopping trip, Nick will come to me and then pull in Thomas and Allan for a family hug. No doubt we have had some strange looks, although I prefer to remember the smiles! I enjoy how he is the typical boy when it comes to Bottom Burps (love Purple Ronnie!). He takes great delight in highlighting what he is about to do ~ how can you not smile at that!! It gives me joy to watch him initiate a chasing or throwing game with his brother. I love how Nick starts making his *humming* noise and then waits to see who will reciprocate! :-) 

I celebrate his little patterns.

Nick certainly shows signs of OCD! In fact, a few years ago, his need for repetitive patterns really hampered his progress with learning and living. This obsessive need has decreased, or perhaps, I have become accustomed to these odd quirky little patterns that are part of Nick. We have had the *drop to one knee* routine, the *go back and check the door* routine (oh, hang on, I also do that!!!!). This week it is the *close the loo door, run the fingers over the light switch a few times* routine. Last week, it was *have a sip of juice and then hold the container to the ear* routine. My word, we have had some funny ones! :-)

I celebrate his progress.

Nick continues to surprise me in all aspects of his development. A year ago, he was a stubborn mule, refusing to get off the couch and quite adamant that he was NOT going to engage with me! Today, he will sit on that same couch, look at me with a cheeky smile on his face, and then leap to his feet to come and join me! We have a lot of big words in our vocabulary; relationship, resilience, competence, flexibility, objectives, evaluation, personal experience memories, spotlight, reference, mastered, communication (and non verbal), perspectives, engagement, regulate, pacing........ and the list goes on... He is doing great, WE are doing great! :-)

I celebrate his nature.

Nick is a gentle soul. He is not an aggressive child. Sure, on occasion there will be a little bit of self injurious behaviour, however, this is generally under extreme stress or anger! I haven't seen much of this over the past year. He can be cross and shake his head for no. He can stamp his foot. He will wave goodbye when he doesn't want anyone around. He will sign "finished" if he has had enough. If we are doing something that he isn't keen on (long walks!) and he becomes *flat* and unresponsive, I start singing to him! His favourite jingle at the moment is Bananas in Pajamas and I only know three lines! This perks him up and gets him smiling! Nick is an uncomplicated chap and has ambitions of being a couch potato. Sadly for Nick, my ambitions for him are a little higher! :-)

Speaking of which, I need to stop procrastinating and get back on track with our latest objective...... It is all about Perspective! 

I celebrate Nick and I know that 2012 is going to be a very good year for us

~*~