Nick was born at 6.30am on May the 25th 12 years ago. He would have been born around 4am if my Doctor had been so inclined to get out of his bed! Not that I dislike my OB/GYN you understand, in fact, he is a really nice guy! :) However, I did raise my eyebrows when he finally came to assist with the birth of Nick......... dressed in his suit!!!
Just out of interest, my original OB/GYN for Thomas' birth was a real hottie and most of the mums who went to him had a little heart flutter here and there! He moved to Australia! :(
Anyway, Nick entered the world and the only comment that I can remember is the one that my husband made - he told me that my face was SO red....... of course it was bloody SO red, I had pushed for Africa and the kid was rather large! Cheek of the man!
To carry on......... the first phone call was to my mother in New Zealand and it went something like this....
"Hi Mum"
"Hi Diane, are you ringing to wish me Happy Birthday?"
WOOPS!!!!
"Been a bit busy Mum, sorry but I forgot that it was your birthday...........anyway, Mum, you have a new grandson"!!!!
So Mum - here is wishing you a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY on May 25th. Happy 70th Birthday Mum!
I will phone you Mum, however, I am going to be incommunicado with the rest of the world - no phone calls, no sms's, no internet, no bbms, no emails, no facebook (no facebook!!!!!!). May 25 is the worst day of my whole year and I am going to face it how I want to.......... and that may mean spending money! It is only one day out of the whole year so a 'quick fix' should be sufficient to get me through! ;)
A friend was feeling a bit sad about her son's 4th birthday (also a child with asd) and she received a lot of comments encouraging her to stop feeling blue, birthdays are exciting no matter what blah blah blah. Well I have to tell you this - we mothers who have children with special needs really need to grieve (it's our process for healing) and it might make you feel better to make confident, enlightening comments BUT please, if you don't have a child with special needs you actually don't know how we feel! The best thing you can do is to actually acknowledge that we are perhaps having a bad day and need a bit of sympathy or even a hug! (Obviously this is a generalization - not all mothers feel like me!)
Why is Nick's birthday not a good day for me???
Because 12 year olds should be able to talk........ and......
- 12 year olds should be able to cheek their mother
- 12 year olds should be able to wipe their own bum
- 12 year olds should be reading, writing, doing math, science, history, art etc etc etc
- 12 year olds should be playing sport, being team members, learning about winning and losing
- 12 year olds should have lots of friends.......... and lots of friends!!
- 12 year olds should be fighting with their brother
- 12 year olds are sophisticated, complicated, funny, irritating, mischievous and naughty
- 12 year olds only have another six or so years of being at home with their mum!
- 12 year olds grow up to being independent adults!
Get my drift??
Nick's first introduction to an electric toothbrush
May 2011
Nick can put on his own shoes but wouldn't have a clue what to do when those shoes give him problems
May 2011
ON THE BRIGHT SIDE
Nick is the most endearing child and we adore him!
End of April 2011
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ROLL ON THURSDAY MAY 26!
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I will be with you in spirit on the same day.
ReplyDeleteI understand how you feel. The other day someone made a comment about me being an empty nester because David is going to college in the fall. I had to remind her that I might never be an empty nester. Chew on that lady! She was sweet and well-meaning but had not realized that not everyone will have that transition in life.
ReplyDeletemany many many hugs
ReplyDeletesome of these realisations break my heart too