Trapped by Time




The world of a special needs mother


I sit on the peripheral, glancing at the time displayed on my phone
It all comes down to time
Every precious second of it
Time is dictated by my child
Time revolves around him
It's not his fault
It is not mine
It just is

My personal window of time is limited
I can make a plan for extra time
A little pocket of an extra hour, or two, or three
But time always pulls me back in
Back to my child
It's not his fault
It is not mine
It just is

I am constrained by time, or rather, a lack of it
Unlimited time is elusive
Freedom of time is deeply missed
Time is a little gargoyle upon my shoulder
Whispering in my ear... "It's time to go, it's time to leave, it's time........"
Being a slave to time is about responsibility, not martyrdom 
It's about my child
It's not his fault
It is not mine
It just is.

Who understands?
Not many
Who accommodates?
Not many
Who cares?
Not many
The world of a special needs mother
It's not his fault
It is not mine
It just is
































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19 comments:








  1. SulaJanuary 27, 2015 at 1:04 AM
    Beautifully written and very moving
    ReplyDelete
  2. HeatherJanuary 27, 2015 at 1:14 AM
    I feel your pain xxx
    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousJanuary 27, 2015 at 6:05 AM
    I often feel like I need a body double. There are days when I look at my son and it feels that time is going to quickly and then there are days when there just aren't enough time to do what I need to do.
    ReplyDelete
  4. UnknownJanuary 27, 2015 at 11:25 AM
    beautifully written! 
    ReplyDelete
  5. AnttiJanuary 27, 2015 at 11:30 AM
    How accurately said!
    ReplyDelete
  6. KristiJanuary 28, 2015 at 1:47 AM
    Your words are deeply moving, and the honesty in your poem is unforgettable.
    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bright Side of LifeJanuary 28, 2015 at 6:45 AM
      Thank you, Kristi. I am not too sure where they came from! xx
      Delete
  7. Memoirs from the Meth LabJanuary 28, 2015 at 1:21 PM
    Incredibly moving words!
    ReplyDelete
  8. Plutonium SoxFebruary 3, 2015 at 10:58 AM
    Wow, very poignant. I can relate to the feeling of missing time to yourself too.x
    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bright Side of LifeFebruary 5, 2015 at 4:13 AM
      Thank you, Natalie. I guess it is pretty common among parents who have kids that need extra care.
      Delete
  9. Looking for Blue SkyFebruary 4, 2015 at 1:09 AM
    Yes life is very similar here and you have captured it so beautifully xx
    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bright Side of LifeFebruary 5, 2015 at 4:14 AM
      You actually crossed my mind when I was writing this! xx
      Delete
  10. jazzygalFebruary 10, 2015 at 1:46 AM
    So beautifully written, and I hope it helped to do so? xxxx
    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bright Side of LifeFebruary 10, 2015 at 1:59 AM
      Thank you, Jazzy. Yes, it helped tremendously. Blogging is cheap therapy and all that! :)
      xxx
      Delete











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