Traveling with an autistic teen!

We did it. We did it. We did it!

Our family went away for the weekend. All four of us.

Nick was a superstar. He cruised through the whole airport and plane experience. He didn't utter a murmur over the fact that he had to share a room with his brother AND sleep in a single bed.

We took him here, there and everywhere.

He was flexible, resilient and extremely chilled.

The only time he got a bit antsy was during a long walk, up a steep hill, that involved many steps.... and it started to rain!

This is Nick's, "I have had enough", face!

Our weekend did not revolve around Nick, although we did make a plan to give him supper at our accommodation before heading out to a restaurant. We also ensured that he got some down time.

The joy of being able to have a *regular* family weekend away without any hassles is indescribable.

A huge achievement.

~*~

School's out!

Do I sense a little stress

Just a hint of angst

School hols were such a mess

No reason to say thanks

The empty days brought dread

My tummy was in knots

My shoulders felt the weight of lead

The anxiety of which were lots

My child just couldn't cope
It was stay at home or combust
Our journey was bleak without sign of hope
The many dreams were crushed

This went on for quite a time
Until not long ago, in fact
You see, with little steps we began to climb
The progress code RDI had cracked

Slowly, slowly I became his guide
And bit by bit, my boy welcomed me
It was with relief, I sighed
The weight lifted and we were free

What changed? you may ask
My boy became Mr Flexible
Life no longer a task
But meaningful and changeable

So comfortable with variation
No need for rigid routine
You can imagine the elation
felt by me and mine

No social stories for this kid
Or schedules of any sort
More freedom to do as bid
without a lot of thought


Our holidays are welcomed
No more angst or stress
More avenues to be explored
My worries a little bit less

We still have a way to go
Our explorations are close to home
I figure if we take it slow
Our future will provide more places to roam

Our SELFIE!
I held the phone and Nick pushed the button!

Sharing about sharing...

My personal facebook status this morning:  How are you feeling, Di? Bloody stressed, facebook! How about you?

This morning just didn't work out as planned and I was left with the dilemma of taking Nick along to an appointment that had been made for Thomas. It bothered me that I wasn't able to devote some time to Thomas. For once, I wanted to be there for my big kid, without any distractions, without Nick. Oh the guilt of a mother!

However, something happened, something that stood out for me as a big WOW moment.

Bright Side of Life facebook status:  Due to unforeseen circumstances I had to take Nick along to a specialist appointment for Thomas. Nick was amazing.... For 45 minutes he sat through the waiting and the consult. He did not need ANY screen time! HUGE! :)

How far we have come.......

I have been berating myself for not doing enough with Nick during this holiday season (four weeks so far and another one to go). All those days and hours wasted! Too much screen time all round! Lost opportunities and missed interactions. Oh the guilt of a mother!

But...

The success of our above outing/appointment serves to remind me of all that we have achieved during the last few weeks. 

Bright Side status:  We are getting brave! Yesterday, we took Nick with us to visit friends and have lunch (I took food for him!). Tomorrow night, we are taking him with us to visit friends and have supper (I will take food for him!). #nonickysitter #throwninthedeepend #itsworkingoutwell

Bright Side status: Nick's new milestones for today: First ever late night out with the old's. Happily ate supper away from familiar surroundings. Very relaxed about missing normal bath time routine. #tiredbuthappymum

Bright Side status:  Nick on top of a mountain and wearing shades!! It was quite a business climbing over small rocks to get to the edge! Very proud of my boy! :)

Bright Side status:  There has been a lot of exercise going on over the last few days!!

Bright Side status:  Hey, guess what....We are at a party (a very low key one!) AND Nick is with us!! Another first! Happy New Year to you all.

Bright Side status:  With a little help from the iPad, Nick made it until 10:30pm! He did great. :). Goodbye 2012. Hello 2013.

Bright Side Status:  Nick loves books! He is turning each page as I read the story. We pause a lot to make comments on what is happening in the story. Nick is very engaged and always keen to add his own opinion.

Bright Side status:  Nick coped well for about 20 minutes until a baby started crying... then he used his iPad. :)

Bright Side Status:  We got seriously lost trying to find our friends house. I was muttering at the husband as we were over an hour late. Nick gets our attention.... he holds up his fists and makes the 'sign' for "cross". He then said... "Sh..it". Very appropriate! :) 

(NO STRESS FROM OUR NICK... VERY CHILLED BOY!)

 

So, there we have it.... 

Our first ever *family* holiday season together, where we haven't had to make a plan for a Nickysitter!

As my husband said, "I feel normalized!"

~*~

I wish to thank Dr Gutstein, RDI and Kathy Darrow for empowering me as a parent and for guiding me on how to guide my boy. Nick may be severely autistic, however, the last two years have shown such wonderful progress. Onwards and upwards.

~*~

I don't generally post about Nick on my personal facebook page, however, I had to share the following.... 

 Thank you all for your wonderful support. xx

P.S. Thomas is fine... he just has to have four wisdom teeth out at some stage!

Family time!

Our young Nick is a creature of habit! In fact, I also admit to being a bit static in my ways when it comes to Nick's night time routine. By the time 7pm comes around, he is tired.... and I am in need of some time out! 


Nick is an early riser and has been for many years. We have tried the *putting him to bed later* plan, and the *block out curtains* plan! I have thought about the *melatonin or heavy duty meds* plan. At the end of the day, we have come to terms with the fact that the kid wakes up early! However, he does have one static pattern that is beneficial to us all ~ he doesn't get out of bed until we collect him! :)


Our night time routine goes something like this;

Supper:         Spaghetti Bolognaise every night

Loo:              Sits doesn't stand   

Bath:             Needs help

Bit of TV:      Boomerang, although loves car racing

Brush teeth:   Taking turns 

Bed:              Night night boy, kiss kiss, close the door

Fairly easy, right? 


Many months ago, we decided to throw Nick a bit of a curve ball ~ we were invited to have supper with friends (at their house) and we took him with us. I gave him supper before we left home and we took along our trusty old/on its last legs laptop. Nick was just fine and dandy, very chilled to be surrounded by kids, noise and the general mayhem that happens when you mix a few families together.


Unfortunately, this was not the case when we got back home. He quickly became dis-regulated and insisted on the bath and then the TV (that damn routine!). He then told me that he wanted to go to bed, however, as soon as he got into bed he started crying his eyes out. When I tried to comfort him, he pushed me away and waved goodbye. Eventually, the only thing I could do was to say goodnight and stand outside his closed bedroom door, listening to him sob. It is the most terrible experience, to have a distraught child and no way of connecting with him to help him when he can't help himself. The remainder of the weekend was a write off! Nick was overtired and miserable and it took him two days to recover from that one night out! I am sure that you can understand my hesitancy at exposing him to further evening outings!


Roll on a year or so......


We have had the laziest summer holiday ~  life has been slow, relaxed and generally without any stress. We are all feeling extremely mellow. Perhaps this is why we spontaneously decided to take Nick out for supper with us last night!


The spontaneity came about due to Allan falling asleep on the sofa (it must be a man thing!), while his delicious curry was bubbling away on the stove. Hence no supper, although it has to be said, my Basmati rice was cooked to perfection! ;)


Right then, we made the momentous decision. It was now or never ~ Operation Take Nick To A Restaurant At Night.


Now what......... the routine? What to do? Is he going to cope? What about his supper? The bath? The loo? What will he be like at the restaurant? Will he lose the plot when we get home? I know it sounds silly, but when you have a kid with autism, life can be fraught with anxiety; and I am not talking about Nick here!


Nick solved the bath problem;


We had been splashing around in the pool for quite a while (this was my solution to the bath!) and Nick had obviously taken in a bit too much water! He hopped out of the pool quick quick, tore off his cozzie (really need to do something about this before he scares the neighbours!) and went racing off to the loo. Unfortunately the aim went a bit wonky and he made a mess. Sigh, now he really needed that bath! It helps to have a teenager on site to call upon when necessary, my lovely Thomas sorted out his brother while I sorted out the supper!


Nick was bemused to be heading out in the car after his supper, however, he took it in his stride and went with the flow. We sat down at our allotted table and again, Nick was very chilled. He gazed around at his surroundings, checked out the cars driving by, the birds landing near his feet, the people coming and going.... Not once did he ask for the TV, laptop or iPad. I wouldn't say that he was wildly ecstatic to be there, the serious expression on his face says it all, however, he wasn't unhappy! :) I did give him the iPad to play with while we ate our meal. All in all, our outing was a positive experience for the whole family, Nick included.

We did have a minor problem when returning home. Nick didn't mind that bath time was out of sync (as in, he had already had one), however, he refused to go to the loo! I kept him up for another half an hour and tried again..... No go! Needless to say, he ran to that loo pretty fast when I got him up this morning!!! Other than that, there was no fall out. :-)

I celebrate that Nick has become more flexible with changes in his routine and environment. It certainly makes life easier for us!

~*~