I shared this RDI post a few weeks back. It's a quick read so click right here to get the background of today's post.
I have been thinking about how to scaffold different sections of our last planned engagement to enhance Nick's learning experience. My wish is to guide Nick in such a way that he feels comfortable with uncertainty and also ensure that the challenge he is faced with is not too overwhelming. In RDI speak we call this 'edge + 1'.
For example: Nick finds it difficult to judge the amount of Nesquik powder to collect on his teaspoon and he invariably overloads the spoon (the instructions state to use three teaspoons). I threw around a few ideas and eventually decided on the easiest one. Nick could spoon two teaspoons of the powder into his glass! You can check out our experience in the following clip.
Before you watch the (one minute) clip, I would like you to take note of a few things.
* Watch me and observe how I scaffold this part of the activity. Take note that I am only using declarative language and I also make sure to pause and wait for Nick to respond. I don't tell him what to do. I make suggestions and the decision to participate is Nick's. Watch how he references me for information and guidance. We are working together nicely without any pressure.
1. I reflected on a previous experience. This was to encourage Nick to recollect what happened last time and also give him a clue of what is going to happen next.
2. I pause and let Nick take the initiative.
3. I don't jump in and assist when Nick takes three teaspoons. I let him finish... and then spotlight that he 'forgot' and remind him that we are going to do two teaspoons.
4. I decide to add in a little challenge and let Nick know that we are going to try again.
5. I didn't assist in any way while Nick was having his second attempt. I gave him the time to make his own decision.
6. I made sure to spotlight what happened.
I realise that I wasn't going to share any more video footage of us, however, I find that a visual representation of an interaction is powerful and extremely helpful. It is much easier for me to share a clip with you, than write a very long blog post explaining the whole process. Video footage helps me to reflect on our activity and think about our way forward. Nick also gets to watch himself in action and I am sure it helps him to encode the experience and add it to his memory bank for future reference.
So, what did you think? Was the video clip helpful? Did it give you some ideas on how to use declarative language? Did you notice that I was providing opportunities for Nick to think for himself and make his own decisions? Did you find our interaction encouraging?
The beauty of school holidays is that the extra free time offers up so many opportunities to engage with Nick. We can do an activity together, however, slow it right down and ensure that we have a shared experience.
We are attempting a brand new jigsaw puzzle that Nick chose during our last shopping trip to the supermarket.
As always, when engaging with Nick, I am very mindful of how I talk/share information. I don't want to tell him what to do; therefore I use declarative comments to encourage him to think about what is going on. I pause frequently to give him time to hear/process and react to any information.
Some examples of declarative language in the following clip:
"It looks quite difficult"
"Right, we have got all of the pieces"
"Oh, where to start, Nick!"
This next clip shows that Nick is referencing my face and body language in order to obtain information. I wonder if you can spot where I use my head and eyes to indicate where the puzzle piece belongs. Also note how quickly Nick picks up on that clue! :)
We finish the puzzle and Nick decides that he wants to pack it away. However, I am keen to chat about our experience and make the activity even more meaningful.
Some examples of declarative language used;
"I am just going to look at the picture for a minute, before we put it away"
"I like cars"
"I can see the colour... red!"
Now it is time to pack away. Nick's role is to pass me the pieces and it is my role to put them away. I can't resist throwing Nick a little curve ball by changing our regular pattern and throwing the pieces back to him.
There we have it ~ a little bit of mother and son time. No stress, no rush, no pressure. Slowly does it!
We are having a home day and it feels so good. No rush, no stress, just a slow meandering type of day. I have been pottering about the kitchen and Nick has been parking off on the sofa, either listening to music or playing on the iPad.
Now, I am not one to sit back and let an opportunity pass me by (I exaggerate!!); so I figured that today could be used to connect with my boy.
I decided to invite Nick to join me in a few activities, using an RDI approach.
For each engagement I chose the roles that we were going to play, the comfortable and familiar pattern to start off with, the challenge that I was going to introduce and the style of language to use. I reminded myself to take it slow, pause a lot and give Nick time to hear the info, process the info and then react. Easier said than done I know..... but after a while on the RDI road, it becomes a piece of cake (cough, cough!).
In the process of cleaning up the kitchen I found a game that I had bought for Nick. Woohoo, great start to doing *stuff*. The boy, who was all nice and snug on the sofa, was very happy to turn off his music and take a look at what I had to offer. We spent a few minutes going through the game and taking turns to collect letters in order to make simple words.
I then got a bee in my bonnet and emptied out the very messy bottom shelf of my pantry cupboard. I took a look at the dust, crumbs and tiny bits of rubbish that were gracing the cupboard and had an *aha* moment. We could use the small dustpan and brush to sweep out the mess. After hunting high and low for what was needed, I stood next to Nick with dustpan in hand (yep, he was back on that couch!); and casually mentioned that I needed some help cleaning the cupboard. Well, he was up in a flash, although needed a little encouragement to put the iPad to one side (I frowned and gazed from the iPad to the bench). Thereafter, we worked so well together, one person holding the dustpan and the other working the brush. We then swapped roles. It went very smoothly and Nick seemed to enjoy the challenge.
Due to the cupboard clean out, I had a pile of junk now sitting in my Butler's sink. Another opportunity to invite Nick to help! I dragged in the large rubbish bin from the garage and together we took turns to transfer the rubbish from the sink to the bin. I used non verbal communication for this activity to slow down Nick's actions and encourage him to look to me for guidance. I felt a little pang when Nick picked up his old cassette player. He looked at it, fiddled around with the buttons and then put it in the bin. Out with the past!!
I was also left with a heap of stuff to keep.... but it was in need of a wash. Our next activity involved washing one item at a time and then passing that item to the other person. I scaffolded the activity by modeling how to use a dish brush; while making comments about what I was doing (talking aloud). Nick was so chilled and also very comfortable about swapping roles with me. It was interesting to note that he really battled with holding and washing at the same time. Something for us to work on another time.
After such a busy morning, it was time for Nick's lunch. Together we collected the fruit and veg needed for his juice. As I prepped the fruit, I invited Nick to help me cut them into pieces. Then I introduced the challenge of peeling the carrots. It just blows my mind how relaxed Nick was when confronted with something that is potentially hard for him. Of course he battled BUT he tried. I was there right beside him, guiding him when needed and assisting when required.
I always used to stress over what sort of RDI activities to do with Nick! Crazy really. In fact, it is so helpful to just take a look at my day and the things that I want to do. I can then fine tune my plans to include Nick in the process. #Mindfulguiding is my middle name! :-)
I don't know about you, but I tend to do too much for Nick. It is far easier for me whip up his fruit and veg juice, butter his toast and choose what fruit to give him for lunch, then spend the time guiding him through the process. To be fair on myself, I only rush through the process when we are on a time limit and have to be out the door quickly.
Such is life!
We had a slow afternoon today and what a difference it made to both me and Nick. Having the time to just hang out offered up so many opportunities to engage with Nick. Before you think I am Supermum, we also had a bit of downtime in which to do our own thing. (Nick had a blast, chilling on the swing with iPad in hand!). It is all about balance, right? :)
I decided to take advantage of our extra time by using lunch as a starting point.
The following two videos show how I slowed right down and gave Nick plenty of time to think for himself and decide what *he* wanted to do/get/choose. You will notice that I don't tell him what to do, although on occasion I do make declarative comments for him to respond to if he wishes. For example; I made a comment about putting the apples back into the fridge. He immediately said no and made the sign for "finished". Nick's decision didn't bother me, however, I decided to wait a little bit and see what happened. I didn't place any demands on him, it was entirely his choice what to do next.
I also ensured that he had a role to play, whether it be collecting the fruit, trying to cut the banana or help me peel the naartjie. There are moments that Nick gets distracted, however, I pause what I am doing and just wait for him to reconnect. I love the connection we share over the banana (from time code 1:25). This is where the cutting of the fruit becomes more about the *experience* than the task.
Note to self:
Define roles
Cut back on the chat
Use declarative language to invite a response and also spotlight the experience/success
Pause the action
Give lots of processing time
Ask myself: Is Nick using his frontal cortex or am I doing his thinking for him?
It is 6:30am on a Monday morning. We are walking into the kitchen in order to have breakfast before heading off to school.
Nick immediately goes to the small CD player and turns on his music. Katy Perry is singing 'Roar', as she always does whenever Nick turns on the CD. Should she not be on the play list, Nick searches until he hears her voice. All I can say is, thank goodness he is over his Britney phase!
I potter around the kitchen, giving Nick time to respond to my initial comment, ("I need two oranges to make your juice").
I get sidetracked as I make myself a cup of tea (weak, black and no sugar). I turn to look at Nick who is doing a little jiggle, dancing along to Katy. As I start to say, "hmmm, I wonder if Nick has remembered the oranges"... I turn towards the juicer and notice that the oranges are already there, just waiting for me!
Big grin ~ there is NOTHING like the power of the pause!
I collect the carving knife and go to stand near the bench on which the juicer sits. I wait. Nick is absorbed in his music. I clear my throat.
Nick looks to me...... so I hold up an orange for him to see. I wait.
He realises that he has a role to play and comes to join me.
I cut the oranges into halves and then pause. Nick picks up one half and places it onto the juicer and holds it there. A few months back he was too scared to go near the juicer.
I love the concept, *edge plus one*. I take Nick to the edge of his competence and then another tiny challenging step. Slowly but surely he is making progress.
Together we finish squeezing the oranges. With a puzzled expression on my face, I look around for the glass. Nick follows my eye gaze from the juicer to the bench. He realises what is missing and goes to collect a glass from the cupboard.
Oh the joy of my child referencing my face and body language for information.
"Nice one, Nick. We made the orange juice together and you realised that we needed a glass"
Note to self:
Use language that invites a response.
Pause and wait... and then wait some more.
Always keep in mind the concept, *edge plus one*.
Stop talking so much; also communicate using facial expressions and body language.
Give my child many opportunities to *think for himself*
Spotlight success.
~*~
This weekend, for the very first time, Nick asked me to take him to the end of the jetty. Huge!
I have been guiding Nick on how to make his own toast.
Yes, I know that he is nearly 14 and I should have done this years ago!
Pah, such is life!
I have chosen to guide him the RDI way.
For sure, it would be a lot easier for me to tell him what to do....
"Hey, Nick!"
1. Get the bread from the cupboard and the butter from the fridge
2. Open the packet
3. Take out a slice of bread and put it in the toaster
4. Take out another slice of bread and put it in the toaster.
5. Turn on the toaster
6. Wait for the bread to toast
7. Take the bread out of the toaster
8. Butter the toast
9. Cut the toast
No problem, he could do this as easy as pie (except butter the toast).
HOWEVER, would he be thinking about what he is doing? Would he be planning his next step? What if he dropped a piece on the floor and it was quickly snapped up by the dog? Would he be able to make his toast independently without any prompts?
Hence, I chose to guide him the RDI way, to encourage him to think for himself, to make his own decisions and to also learn from his mistakes.
I decided to take each step of the process slowly and at Nick's pace, although always being mindful about giving him a little challenge... taking that one extra step past his level of competence. We have been doing great and after a few days we have reached the *butter the toast* stage.
I must share with you that we hit a little bump in the process... around Number 6. As in, we had to wait for the toast to cook! Young Nick is not really used to hanging around while the toast is cooking. He generally races over to the stereo and turns on his music. He then grabs some magazines, plonks himself down on the couch and flips through the mags as he listens to the music!
This time his old mum (that's me!) put a spanner in his spokes. As the toaster was turned on, he indicated that he was going to turn on the music. I didn't say, "no". I didn't say, "stay here". I said, "I am waiting for the toast to cook!". Well, would you believe it, he decided to stay with me!
He didn't find it easy to hang around the toaster and during that very first attempt of *waiting for the toast to cook*, he did hop around a bit and get a little stressed. I made the occasional declarative comment...."the toast is cooking", "the toast is nearly ready". At no time did I tell him to, "stay".
Voilà , sure enough, Nick was still there when the toast popped. His choice! :)
It was a challenge for him..... it was his edge plus one.
Fast forward a couple of days and we reach the reason for this blog post.
Waiting for the toast to cook was no longer a challenge for Nick. He felt competent with waiting. He knew that I wasn't going to push him too far beyond his level of competence and he was also in tune with the comments that I made every now and then.
How did I fill in that gap, the waiting period?
I paused......
Lovely things happen when I pause.
Special things that make the activity much more about the engagement than the actual cooking of the toast.
It's a win win, really...
A wonderful opportunity to engage with each other.
